Hastings. If you went to school in the UK, the name probably conjures up memories of history lessons — learning how William the Conqueror and his French-Norman fleet stormed across the English Channel in 1066 to stick an arrow in the eye of England's last Anglo-Saxon King.
While the Battle of Hastings actually took place a few miles north of Hastings (more on that here), traces of its historical significance remain, from the ruins of the castle built by order of the new king to a grubby mural depicting scenes from the Bayeux Tapestry on the underpass that connects the Old Town to the new one. But this seaside town's ties to the Norman Conquest are far from the only interesting thing about it. There are myriad things to do in Hastings.
It's a breath of fresh (sea) air
Hop on a Hastings-bound train at London Bridge and you could be sitting on a shingle beach within an hour and a half, assuming Southeastern behaves. And the town has gritty seaside charm in spades.
The pier once attracted the likes of The Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix, who set his Stratocaster both metaphorically and literally ablaze on its stage. A storm and, later, a devastating fire (unrelated to Hendrix’s outlandish showmanship) may have destroyed the original structure upon which these superstars performed, but its current, more minimalist incarnation won the RIBA Stirling Prize and is well worth a visit. Candy-hued fisherman's huts sell ice cream, locals practice yoga on its vast expanse of timber planks, and in the summer, live music and open air film screenings draw the crowds.
You can also swim, of course, but brace yourself; it can get pretty chilly, even in the summer. Further east along the coastline, there's a small funfair (check opening dates) and a couple of arcades. With more 2p machines than you can shake a stick of rock at, these are worth a visit if you've got kids to entertain.
It's a crazy golf hotspot
Did you know that crazy golf has its own world championships? Well, it does. And every summer since 2003, it's taken place in Hastings. At other times of year, pros and amateurs alike can make use of what claims to be the world's largest miniature golf complex, open all year round. Choose between your standard windmills, a pirate version, and — my personal favourite — the Polynesian-themed adventure golf course, featuring snarky talking tiki statues.
Where to eat and drink in Hastings
Get into the town early and treat yourself to a slap-up breakfast at Pelican Diner, or head straight to Di Pola's for a proper ice cream (hey, you're on holiday!).
Fish-wise, Maggie's is known for its fresh cod, or you could simply grab a punnet of cockles and prawns straight from one of the fisherman's huts and have an alfresco sunset supper on the beach.
If you're up for something special, go for Boulevard Bookshop and Thai Cafe. Second-hand bookshop by day, incredible family-run BYOB Thai restaurant by night, you're free to browse the bookshelves while your dreamy two-course meal is cooked up (it's how I found this delightfully dated Time Out guide to London).
Also worth a visit is Farmyard, situated in the St Leonard's area — run by two former Londonist writers, Ben and Kate (who also run Boatyard in nearby St Leonards). The restaurant and natural wine bar focuses on local and sustainable produce, specialising in fresh fish and tapas. Look out for different offers on different days of the week, or swing by on Sunday for a fantastic Sunday roast.
It's got its own castle...
Alright, so it's not exactly the Palace of Versailles, but the ruins of Hastings Castle are nevertheless worth trekking up the West Hill for — if only for a viewing of 'The 1066 Story', the charmingly naff audio-visual programme screened daily inside the castle's cinema room. While you're up there, you can visit Smugglers Adventure, a subterranean network of caves once used by — you guessed it — smugglers to stash their contraband. Today, it still houses a truly unnerving array of bootleggers, but at least these ones are waxwork.
... and two funicular railways
Hamstrings not feeling another walk up a massive hill? Try the funicular railway. The East Hill Lift is the UK's steepest, and dates back to 1902. The summit boasts excellent views of the town, and if you walk far enough along the gorse-strewn grass, you'll reach Hastings Country Park, a nature reserve within the High Weald Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, which extends all the way to Fairlight's Fire Hills. There's also a West Hill Lift.
There are whimsical old buildings to ogle
Cradled in-between the East and West hills you'll find Hastings Old Town. This is the bit of the town that pre-dates the 19th century — a mishmash of medieval, Tudor and Georgian buildings — and it's pretty damn charming.
George Street, one of the Old Town's main thoroughfares, is all quirky shops, cobbles and lively pubs, while the quieter All Saints Streets boasts buildings dating back to 1450. My own grandmother lived at Number 135, a lopsided 16th century Merchants House. Once the house was sold, it received a dramatically rustic makeover, featuring groyne oak floors, a lead-lined wooden bath tub and a slightly bewildering mix of antique furniture. You can stay here yourself if you're feeling flush, or else wait for one of its occasional open days for a nose around.
There are plenty of excuses to dress up
Hastings residents love a party, and there are plenty of weird and wonderful festivities taking place all year round. For me, the best is Jack in the Green, an old English folk tradition that the town revived in the 1980s, where everyone goes a bit Wicker Man (minus the human sacrifice). There's Morris Dancing, lots of day drinking and a parade through the Old Town and up the West Hill which culminates in the 'slaying' of the Jack, a hulking great effigy made of leaves, to release the spirit of summer.
After that, there's Pirate Day, Carnival Week, the Old Town Pram Race, and a big bonfire parade in the autumn.
You're never short on watering holes
There are some great pubs in the Old Town, including The Albion (good live music), The Stag Inn (excellent beer garden) The Crown (a great freehouse, with lots of independently made beer, gin, etc). In the town centre, it's a little more sparse, a reflection of the frankly woeful lack of investment in the area — but that's for another article. That said, The Imperial is a great craft brewhouse slinging pizzas, and The Fountain is a is gay-friendly cabaret pub.
If you're up for a late one, your options are somewhat limited, but The Printworks hosts some brilliant parties.
... or cultural enrichment
Hastings Museum & Art Gallery should be on the list of anyone interested in the town's social history, with a permanent collection exploring everything from its smuggling heritage to the skirmishes between mods and rockers in the '60s.
Film buffs can skip the Odeon in favour of arthouse flicks and old classics at the Electric Palace Cinema, while theatre lovers are catered for by the White Rock Theatre.
There's also a thriving local arts scene, with the former Jerwood Gallery relaunched as Hastings Contemporary and has exhibited work by Tal R, Roy Oxlade, and Hastings local Sir Quentin Blake.
Finally, it's not Shoreditch-by-the-sea
...And that's what makes it so great. There's heaps of community spirit in Hastings, as well as genuine eccentricity and the sort of unbridled creativity that can flourish in a (relatively) affordable community.
For residents, it's absolutely vital that this unique character is preserved. And that's why projects like the £4 million Jerwood Gallery can provoke controversy. In a town where 38% of children live below the poverty line, rents are through the roof. The steady increase in tourism has boosted the local economy, but in an era of rogue landlords and Airbnb, not everyone gets to reap the benefits. Unless community wellbeing is put at the centre of any such regeneration project, it's merely gentrification by stealth.
The good news is that a number of projects have sprung up to mitigate this. Rock House, run by a trio of social enterprises, offers affordable flats and office space at capped rents, and in early 2019, Organisation Workshop saw a group of economically underprivileged and otherwise marginalised locals come together to similarly transform part of the derelict Observer Building, while receiving training and support to grow as entrepreneurs.
