Estate Agents lie. Fact.
How many places did you see before you ended up living where you are now? How many times were you tricked by the term "charming maisonette" — then on the viewing you saw a decrepit cupboard? "Stunning back garden" really means five sq ft of concrete paving, decorated with a plant pot filled with decaying flowers.
Now there's a tool that makes sure you won't get your hopes up by a listing, then have them brutally crushed. Created by Liam Butler, Shitemove — what property listings site could that possibly sound like... — tells it like it is.
"An unexceptionally clean-ish, furnished, three bedroom, one bathroom apartment offering characterless living."
"Please, we're desperate!"
"...located somewhere kinda near to the Bellenden Village area."
Now this is more like it. The internet browser extension mercilessly rips apart property listings to our ceaseless amusement.
Even the ridiculously expensive houses in Kensington don't escape unscathed. "This hoovered house is well positioned centrally on the West side of this rip-off address made up of large (in the photos, at least) Victorian villas."
Amuse yourself by having a play about with the tool, we won't judge if you let out a proper guffaw. We also won't judge if you end up weeping when you realise how close to the bone Shitemove really cuts, when it comes to London's ridiculous property market.