Your Nightmare Stories About Being Sick On The Tube

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 12 months ago
Your Nightmare Stories About Being Sick On The Tube

We asked Londonist readers if they'd ever ever had the misfortune of vomiting on the tube. Some of you were honest — almost too honest. Others decided to dob other people in instead. That's just sick.

A Christmas chunder

"Many years ago, back in the 70s, Central line trains had an open bit above the glass partition between the seats and the door/standing space. It was often used to rest arms on and maybe lean in a bit.

"This happened the Christmas party season, and one drunk was resting on that bit, and then it all got a bit much for him. With no warning he chucked up onto the woman sitting below. She didn't know what to do, and he was too far gone to even realise.

"That part of the carriage emptied. I went into the next one, and looked into it. I have to admit, I had a lot of fun watching passengers getting on at subsequent stops thinking seats were free and then finding out why." — Michael, who remembers the good old days of tube vomming

Do you have a guardian angel looking over you, for when you chuck up?

A guardian angel of vom

Guilty. And some kind Londoner, without a word, just gave me a packet of tissues and a bottle of water. — Jeanette, who someone is watching over

Puking up all over east London

"In the late 70s I was 18 years old and just started work in Leytonstone. I lived in Poplar at the time. I went to a firm's darts match that lasted all night in The Red Lion Pub. After an uncountable number of Guinnesses followed by a raft vodka and blacks — well I wanted to make an impression on my new work mates! I staggered to Leytonstone tube station and got to the platform, where I was promptly sick — a big pool of claret liquid.

"I got on the train that arrived and I knew I was gonna throw up, but held it to Leyton station where I was promptly sick on the platform. I got back on the train and did the same and Stratford and Mile End where I changed on the district line. I was sick at Bow Road station and once again at Bromley by Bow where I exited. I then got on a 108 bus to Poplar, but was promptly thrown off half way home because I puked up yellow bile.

"I finally walked home, where I was promptly sick and went to bed. The journey to work and work the next day was a bit of a 'challenge.' Thank god they didn't have CCTV at that time." — Indie Spin, who we hope has recovered by now

The kebab is almost certainly not to blame

A dodgy kebab... yeah right

"Yep. In my handbag! It was the dodgy kebab NOT the pints of alcohol before that. Of course." — Sarah, whose kebab was definitely absolutely fine

A Woking nightmare

"A few years ago, I was on a late night train from Waterloo to Guildford. All the way their, we had our eye on a guy a few seats down, who's clearly had too much to drink. Pale in the face, he was clearly struggling to keep the contents of his stomach down. As we pulled into Woking, it all became to much, and the guy sprayed his dinner all over the carriage floor. Seconds later the doors pinged opened for Woking station.... the guy sheepishly ambled off the train. Woking was his stop — and he'd missed the platform bin by a matter of seconds." — Will, who is permanently scarred by Woking

Drink three bottles of this and you'll be painting the town red... literally

Craig's pissed

"I know someone....tee he he.... Craig. The tube doors just took a tad too long to open. So gross." — Nic, who decided to grass up her mate, Craig

"Strangely enough, that experience of Craig’s came immediately to my mind too." Paula, a friend of Craig's who can't shake the memory

"Ahh yes, I seem to recall those tube doors covered in a delightful concoction of Thai curry, fried seaweed and about three bottles worth of 98 Hardy's Nottage Hill Shiraz." — Andrew, a friend of Craig's who remembers the ordeal in horrific Technicolor

"You are welcome. I am pleased I have made a lasting impression on you" — Craig, to his lucky group of friends.

Got a sick story to add to these? Tell us below in the comments, and we may feature it in a subsequent article.

Last Updated 01 May 2018