Tate Britain has described how he is "utterly f**ked off" with constantly being mistaken for his edgy millennial brother, Tate Modern.
"I've been on the art scene 103 years longer than Tate Modern," said the exasperated art gallery, "And yet when people tell their mates to meet at 'the Tate', they almost always mean him.
"I've got Ophelia by Sir John Everett Millais, Forms in Echelon by Barbara Hepworth, and a f**k-ton of posh columns out the front. What's my art school drop-out of a brother got? A massive empty hall with a concreted-up crack, and a balcony used largely for spotting naked people in skyscrapers.
"It's just not real art is it."
The Tate brothers haven't spoken to one another since 2014, when Tate Modern invited Kraftwerk round for an eight-day-long rave.