Opinion

"Why London's Asexual Book Club Is So Important To Me"

Last Updated 10 October 2024

"Why London's Asexual Book Club Is So Important To Me"
An array of asexual literature
London's asexual book group has over 100 members.

When I began to question whether I might be asexual, it was the information and stories I found online that helped me answer the questions I had.

The label 'asexual' is an umbrella term used to describe people who feel little to no sexual attraction. I’ve identified as asexual (or 'ace') since 2019, when I first came across the label that described how I felt. The various articles and stories I sourced helped me figure it out, but (a)sexuality is so nuanced, I also wanted to find an in-person community among some other 4,500 other asexual Londoners, the opportunity to explore asexuality in greater depth with other aces.

That's where the London Ace Book Club came in. I discovered it soon after it was established in 2022, and we congregated in Leon in the Brunswick Centre, spreading ourselves across several tables in the back of the restaurant and settling down for what turned out to be the first of many discussions to come.

A young person with a asexual flag
Author, Sarah Sharp: "I was nervous to be meeting other asexual people in-person for the very first time, but once the discussion got going, I soon felt like this was a group I could belong to."

I was nervous to be meeting other asexual people in-person for the very first time, but once the discussion got going, I soon felt like this was a group I could belong to. That first book was Loveless by Heartstopper author Alice Oseman, a novel which follows an asexual protagonist on a journey of self-discovery that makes a lot of us aces feel so seen.

"The book I often recommend is The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee," says Caroline Medhurst, who established the book group not long before I joined. "I feel like the main character's aroace [aromantic and asexual] identity is explored in a thoughtful way, and this is skilfully woven into a really fun and exciting story."

Caroline launched the group in response to a forum message on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), asking if any asexual book clubs existed in London. One coffee later with the author of that forum post, and the London Ace Book Club was born.

The frontage of Gay's the Word
The London Ace Book Club is hosted at Gay's The Word. Image: Londonist

Two years on, the club's home is now Gay's The Word, the UK's oldest LGBTQ+ bookshop. Says Caroline: "Running a book club that meets in the same place every month provides stability and allows a feeling of community to develop."

We have gone on to read a wide variety of books and used that representation as a launchpad for conversations around the asexual experience. There are over 100 members of the book club, with around 15-20 attending each monthly meeting.

Gay's The Word manager Jim MacSweeney tells me: "If you had asked me for an ace book three years ago, I'd have pulled out one of two books individually from our shelves: The Invisible Orientation by Julie Sondra Decker or Ace by Angela Chen.

"We now have a little ace flag up on a shelf to mark a whole ace section! I am thrilled there is an ace book group here who are passionate about books and can point us towards books that they think are good representation or they think we should have in stock."

A man in a chequered shirt behind a desk in a bookshop
Jim MacSweeney from Gay's The Word: "The world out there is very heteronormative. And to come into a space where you can just be is a joy; to know that you completely belong there and don’t have to explain, it can feel like you’ve come home." Image: Londonist

I volunteer as a young adult ambassador for a charity called Just Like Us; I go into schools to speak to young people about my experiences growing up LGBTQ+. As I sit down and reflect on the story I tell, the influence the London Ace Book Club has had on me shines through: the books I've read, and the friendships I've made. I simply would not be where I am in my journey without this wonderful group. In a 2023 survey, 66% of asexual respondents said they had been bullied at school, 23% said they'd experienced bullying in the workplace and 32% had been through physical abuse in the last year — more than any other LGBT+ identity surveyed. This highlights just how important it is to have a safe space like the London Ace Book Club.

I think Jim MacSweeney puts it best: "The world out there is very heteronormative. And to come into a space where you can just be is a joy. To know that you completely belong there and don't have to explain, it can feel like you've come home."

Sarah is an ambassador for Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity. Just Like Us needs LGBT+ ambassadors aged 18-25 to speak in schools — sign up now.

The London Ace Book Club meets on the fourth Tuesday of every month (apart from December) at Gay's The Word bookshop in Bloomsbury, 7.30pm-9pm.