Eating healthily is all well and good, but sometimes you just want to go all in. Burgers and hot dogs, accompanied by loaded fries and onion rings — washed down with a thick, creamy shake. And is it just us, or does that taste all the better accompanied by a heady dose of retro Americana?
Yep, we're talking classic American diners with vintage Pepsi ads on the walls, a working jukebox, and, more often than not, a life-size fibreglass Elvis strutting its stuff in the corner. Sadly, such places are a dying breed (RIP, JB's Brighton), but the restaurants below all commit to the All-American theme, HARD — and dish up above average food, too. You may need to loosen your belt after reading this...
Hot Rod Diner, Northfleet, Kent
Describing itself as an "authentic 1950s rock 'n' roll diner", Hot Rod wouldn't look out of place in Grease. It's certainly one for the petrolheads, what with its undercover parking often home to some serious sets of wheels. Head below the neon sign and step inside for more motoring memorabilia; Route 66 signage, vintage Shell petrol pumps, and the exterior of a Cadillac mounted on the wall. Chequerboard floors, vintage adverts and leather booth seating complete the diner experience.
It's home to about a dozen tables indoors, with more outside on the deck in good weather. The menu is standard diner fare done well, but be warned: the hot dogs are loooong, the sides loaded, and the burgers, towering. The thick, creamy milkshakes are a meal in themselves, and though we've never had room for dessert on our visits, the sundaes come highly recommended.
Hot Rod Diner, 79-84 High Street, Northfleet, Kent, DA11 9HJ.
Grumpy's Diner, Southend, Essex
In early 2024, Southend lost the legendary Bobby Jo's Diner, but a few streets back from the seafront, Grumpy's Diner has been serving up American goodness by the plateful since 2014.
Styled on the 1950s, the restaurant's exterior sign is mirrored like an Airstream, while inside, a black and white chequerboard floor leads you to a series of baby pink and baby blue leather booths, with the walls painted to match — at least, the parts of the walls which aren't covered in framed snaps of Harley Davidsons and Marilyn Monroe, or car license plates from a whole array of US states. The wall-mounted red car has us puzzling if they've gone halves, quite literally, with Hot Rod (top picture).
They take food seriously here, as evidenced by the various eating challenges, including The Mac Attack (polish off 2kg of mac 'n' cheese plus 500g of smoky barbecue pulled chicken, 500g of Grumpy’s chicken strips and two full garlic bread baguettes in 45 minutes), and The Boss Dog (four hotdogs with buns and toppings, plus fries and 16 onion rings in just 25 minutes).
A sweet tooth doesn't rule you out either: The Brownie Sensation gives you 35 minutes to tackle 1.75kg of triple chocolate brownie, 100g of mini marshmallows, 100g Flake dust, 100g brownie bits, 100g Oreo dust, 100g Fudge pieces, 100g crushed Oreos, 100g whole Oreos, and 100g Flake pieces).
Each of these challenges, by the way, is for a single person — not a group. Makes our order of a Tower Burger washed down with a chocolate & peanut butter shake rather tame in comparison. Boozy milkshakes, cocktails and mocktails are available too.
Grumpy's Diner, 759 Southchurch Rd, Southend-on-Sea SS1 2PP.
Max's Diner aka The Chapel Diner, Horsham, Sussex
You could drive up and down Langhurst Wood Road, just outside Crawley, your whole life, and never know that Max's Diner is there. It's set back from the main road on the Graylands Estate, a peaceful area of residential and commercial properties, and... a chapel.
It's that chapel, diminutive in size and clad in white weatherboarding, with a weather vane on top and an American flag flying on one side, that we're interested in. It's home to Max's Diner — also known as The Chapel Diner — a restaurant specialising in American food and serving breakfast and lunch.
First things first; because of the size of the place — a mere handful of tables inside and half a dozen picnic benches in a garden round the side — it's a bookings-only restaurant, so you can't show up on a whim. But it's worth it. Inside, a working traffic light hangs where the altar must once have been, with vintage gasoline pumps and a jukebox taking up a considerable percentage of the floor place. Seating takes the form of red and white leather booths, though it's fairly packed, so not somewhere for a private conversation.
It beggars belief that they've managed to squeeze a kitchen back there too, but they're sending out plates full of burgers, ribs, chicken and hot dogs from somewhere. If you're around a bit earlier, breakfast options range from a full English to pancakes and waffles, and there's a whole separate veggie and vegan menu. They make their milkshakes with real ice cream, and pile them high with whipped cream.
Max's Diner, The Chapel, Graylands Estate, Langhurst Wood Road, Horsham, RH12 4QD.
H's American Diner, Eastbourne
H's American Diner, known as Harleywood under previous management (and it's only as we type that, we realised what they did there...) has been in business since 2011, serving up corndogs, ribs, wings, and burgers with names like Muscle Beach, Empire State, and Viva Las Vegan. Though that menu suggests a geographical spread, H's heart is very much in the Lone Star State.
The drinks menu runs the full gauntlet of milkshakes and an impressive selection of soft drinks — or as they call them, Designated Driver Drinks — including UK rareties including Mountain Dew, various Fanta flavours, and Jarritos Mexican Cola. Non-drivers are well catered for, with a range of spirits to rival most bars in the area, plus beers, cocktails and bubbly.
H's American Diner, 246 Terminus Road, Eastboune, BN21 3DE.
Bungalow Diner, Colchester, Essex
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"Drive in, dine in, drink in" reads the slogan for this Route 66-inspired, which sits alongside the A12 rather than the Mother Road. It's not actually a drive-thru, but nor would you want it to be, for then you'd miss the heady dose of nostalgia which lies beyond the red and white entry canopy.
Slide into a similarly red and white leather booth and dine on burgers, pizzas, pancakes and shakes, with live music every Friday night, and other events throughout the week.
Mollie's Diner, Oxfordshire
How to describe Mollie's? The sophisticated older sibling to the other diners on this list; playful, but selectively so. Sure, it's got its name up in lights outside, and bar stools at the counter. But there's also soft-toned lighting, wood-panelled walls, and not a jukebox or vintage poster in sight.
The menu too, is less in-your-face than other eateries of the genre. You'll still get your burgers, hot dogs, fries, and mac 'n' cheese here, but it's tempered with salads, salmon and all-day eggs dishes. The dessert menu has a distinctly American flavour too: apple pie, lemon meringue pie, baked cheesecake.
Milkshakes and floats are available, and there's an extensive alcohol list, featuring classic cocktails, beer, wine and spirits, and you can opt to spike your shake if that's how you like it. Don't hold back — there's a motel next door where you can sleep it off (rooms designed by the Soho House team, natch), which gives you a chance to sample the breakfast menu too.
Mollie's Motel & Diner, Shrivenham Road, Buckland, SN7, 8PY. There's a second venue at Cribb's Causeway, Bristol, and a third up in Manchester.
Potty's Diner, Potter's Bar, Hertfordshire
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Located on a busy crossroads just a whisker from the M25 and Greater London, Potty's Diner (also known as Potty's Pancakes, which previously had a branch in Cockfosters too) describes itself as "a quirky and cool nod to the Classic American Diner from the 50s dining booths, large murals and Marilyn taking centre stage".
All-day breakfast sits on the menu alongside speciality burgers with Vegas-inspired names, racks of ribs, hot dogs, and the occasional salad. The dessert menu is just as extensive as the main one, spanning sundaes, eight different types of cookie dough, froyo, plus the pancakes, waffles and crepes which are Potty's speciality— and which, by the way, are served in absolutely towering stacks.
Silhouetted portraits of Marilyn, Elvis and co watch over diners.
Potty's Diner, 2 Barnet Road, Potter Bar, EN6 2QS.
Back Inn Time, Chelmsford, Essex
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Another one that's slightly different from others on this list. You won't find chequerboard floors, leather booths or decorative Cadillacs at Back Inn Time. It's still an American diner, but decorative focus is on the South West of the ole' USA, so think wood panelling, etched stained glass, and Tiffany-style glass lamps hanging low from the ceiling — and, if you're anything like us, the theme tune from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly playing on a loop in your head while you dine.
The menu is all about American comfort food, spanning the entire breadth of the country — and down into Mexico — from nachos and burgers, to fajitas, prime steaks, chicken wings, and New York-style cheesecake.
Back Inn Time, Victoria Road, Chelmsford, CM1 1NY.
