London's Ten Commandments

M@
By M@ Last edited 18 months ago
London's Ten Commandments
Those who stand on the left shall be smited.

1. Remember to stand on the right while using an escalator. This rule should be kept most holy among all commandments.

2. Thou shalt bring no conversation into tube carriages.

3. Do take the name of former mayors in vain. Especially Boris. Especially now.

4. Thou shalt not worship the Green Cross Code nor the Highway Code, for they are false idols.

5. Honour thy landlord and thy lettings agent, lest they screw you over at the end of your fixed-term contract.

Image by RachelH_.

6. Thou shalt tut loudly when trapped behind a dawdler, and yet spend much of your own walk in thrall to your smartphone.

7. Thou shalt leap through the closing tube doors, and not wait 2 minutes for the next train.

Image by Chutney Bannister in the Londonist Flickr pool.

8. Thou shalt hold dismissive views about the food at Angus Steakhouse restaurants despite never having dined there, nor knowing anybody who has ever dined there.

Image by Dave McGowan in the Londonist Flickr pool.

9. Thou shalt break for lunch at precisely 1pm, and at no other time, and spend your lunch hour in a long queue.

10. Thou shall not covet they neighbour's companionship, nor talk to thy neighbour in any way, except for those awkward encounters when you both get home at the same time and mumble something about the bin collection or the weather.

Last Updated 24 October 2016

Ric Euteneuer

"Thou shalt hold dismissive views about the food at Angus Steakhouse restaurants despite never having dined there, nor knowing anybody who has ever dined there".

I did.

Once.In the early 90s

Bear in mind, this was before the Interweb and Time Out guides, and my mum visiting London and wanting steak in the environs of Leicester Square, and everywhere else was booked out and I couldn't tempt her to have something Lebanese or Indian. So Angus it was.

And it was AWFUL. We waited 30 minutes to be served (we stuck around because it was pelting it down outside), they messed the order up, another hour passed before the inedible overcooked, tough as shoeleather steaks and pitiful, half cooked sides were served. AND they overcharged us, and, even corrected, the bill for steak and chips and 2 coffees came to the wrong end of 40 quid - in 1992.

Alexander

Enjoy this magnificient review of Angus Steakhouse from 2014: "The combination (...) makes me think of decay: charity-shop coats, mulched leaves
in a drainpipe." http://www.independent.co.uk/l...

Luke Mitchell

I love the inclusion of Angus Steak House in the 10 commandments. I've never eaten there nor known anyone else who did! London is full of gimmicks and that one is a prime rump example.

I disagree with no 5. It doesn't matter how much you care for your flat, the landlords and their agents will still screw at least some of the bond off you. It seems there's no such thing as normal wear and tear. You'll still lose money even if you leave the place spotless clean and broke nothing. One time we got accused of painting the kitchen after we cleaned the smoke/grease stained walls. Don't waste your time trying to please landlords. They're scumbags.

pattyrose

I would add: thou shalt turn off all electronic equipment ad avoid loud voiced conversations on the public transport ...