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Here's all your London news, served up in bite-sized pieces just the way you like it.
Things to do today:
OUTDOOR SWIMMING: Jump into Parliament Hill Lido for a few lengths of backstroke before work. It's a bit of a London legend, being open 12 months of the year since 1938. Those who don't do December dipping can enjoy the kinder weather this week. £3.50 (early morning price), just turn up, 7am
MARILYN MONROE: There's still time to catch Marilyn Monroe: The Legacy Of A Legend at Chelsea Design Centre. See hand-written letters, journals, jewellery and outfits from some of her most famous films, including Niagara and Some Like It Hot. Free, just turn up, 10am-7pm
NAT KITCHEN: Four celebrities battle it out to create a four-course meal in The Happenstance's kitchen before a panel including Gregg Wallace. Vote for your favourite course, then get bidding at the Spring Awakening auction to win some unique items. It's all in aid of HIV charity, NAT. Like being a Masterchef judge for the night, but better. £95, prebook, 7pm
QUIZ: Could this be London's fastest quiz? Last Man Standing features quick-fire true or false rounds, and stage challenges including Swingballs, Come Fly With Me and Drop 'n' Pop. Grab your ticket — and your most energetic friends — and head to 37 Cavendish Square. £7, prebook, 7pm
FUNNY STUFF: Hammersmith's The Duchess Of Cambridge (not, not that one) spoils you with Twice As Nice Comedy tonight. Mistress of laughs, Felicity Ward takes the stage, with support from Sam Deards and Simon Lilley. £5/£4, just turn up, 8pm
ART AND MUSIC: Pop Brixton presents Straight Out Of The Box — a night of creativity including live music, DJs, poetry and conversation, curated by Run Dem Crew founder, Charlie Dark, and musician, dub-poet, and writer, Roger Robinson. £8, prebook, 8pm
EU TALK: As The Clash, sort of, said — should we stay or should we go? If you're EU confused and fancy talking about your European feelings with a cold beer in your hand, head to Hackney Showroom to chat about it with artist and loudmouth, Scottee. £8/£5, prebook, 8pm
COMEDY: Ashley Blaker, the 'only Charedi Jew in British comedy', ends his nationwide stand-up comedy tour by bringing his hit show to JW3. He's worked extensively as a producer and writer on TV and radio and he's pretty hilarious too. £15, prebook, 8pm
Good cause of the day
Fundraising for The Refugee Council, comedian Ben Van der Velde's taking a Long Walk Home. Attempting to visit every tube station, he'll cover about 350 miles over one month — that's a half-marathon every day. In Ben's own words, "if you like the idea of helping and the absolute state my legs and feet are going to be in by early July, then please donate". He's got a Just Giving page, so head there and find out more about the challenge.