We've established which is the best seat on the tube, but here's another thorny problem: what's the best seat on the bus?
Top deck, driver's seat
Obviously, this is the best seat on the bus. Top deck, right hand side. This is not up for debate. But sometimes some other cunning person's got there first. So where now?
Top deck, left hand side
This still gives you a wide vista of a view, and more scope for people-watching on the pavement. Also gets to make use of the little shelf for bags, wet umbrellas and, occasionally, cake.
Top deck, behind the stairs
For some reason, this seat gets more legroom than its fellows. It's also an excellent spot for watching people coming up and down the stairs — if you really want to peer over the edge, we're not going to stop you. As a summer bonus, that tends to be where the air conditioning units are so it's cooler.
Bottom deck, behind the rear doors
If, for whatever reason, you can't get upstairs or you're stuck with single deckers on your route, behind the rear doors is the way to go. You get that nice glass panel to shield you from other passengers and an occasional breeze when the doors open in summer. Though, speaking of summer...
Bottom deck, opposite the doors
This is a tricky recommendation because these seats on the right are generally for people with buggies or less able to stand. But if the bus is quiet, and it's sweltering outside, this is the place to feel the full force of the cool, sweet breath of fresh air (London has fresh air, right?) during a heatwave.
After first insisting that there are no good seats on these awful, cramped contraptions, we've been persuaded that the rear-facing seats at the back, downstairs, are pretty good because of the view out of the back window.
Anything over the wheel arch, unless you want to spend the whole journey with your knees in your face. Also, you — sitting at the back! What is wrong with you?