What do pylons, East German traffic lights, ditchwater, and selected highlights from the 1990s Saturday night ITV show You Bet have in common? They're all subjects ripe for discussion at the 2016 Boring Conference, taking place in May.
Tickets for what is almost certainly the most boring conference in the world go on sale on Friday, and judging from previous outings, they'll sell like extremely bland hot cakes.
Guest speakers at the Conway Hall event include Wolverhampton dentist Toby Dignum, boring people senseless with his knowledge of calendars; New Scientist editor Valerie Jamieson who will genuinely be discussing the merits of watching grass grow and examining how dull ditchwater really is; and comedian George Egg, who (at last) tackles the unnecessary art of room service.
If your mouth isn't already agape with the biggest yawn of your life, you can check out more of the speakers and their subjects here.
The Boring Conference 2016 is on 7 May at Conway Hall, 25 Red Lion Square, WC1R 4RL, from 10am. The first batch (that's right, the first batch) of tickets goes on sale at 1pm on 25 March, price £16.64-£21.70