Things To Do In London This Weekend: 5-6 March 2016

All weekend

Try some street food on South Bank. Image: Dave Pearce.

KNITTING AND STITCHING: Get tied up in knots at The Spring Knitting and Stitching Show at Olympia. With over 200 exhibitors selling all types of craft supplies and hundreds of workshops and lectures to get involved in, you're in for a crafty weekend. £13/£12, prebook, 10am-5pm

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BULLSH!T SHAKESPEARE: If you like your history reeking of lies, join this Bullsh!t Shakespeare walking tour. Meet Shakespeare's surviving children, try on some of his real clothes and get stuck into the fictitious and ridiculous. St Paul's Churchyard. Free, just turn up, 11am/3pm

SOUTH BANK FOOD MARKET: Street food, artisan specialities — all types of tasty morsels take over Southbank Food Market this weekend. Even if you're not hungry, visit Southbank Centre Square and inhale the scrumptious smells and see the colourful cuisines. Free, just turn up, 11am (Sat)/ noon (Sun)

SHAKESPEARE WEEKENDER: As the Bard once pondered, "what's in a name?" Head to Barbican to find out for yourself at this family crest workshop, part of Shakespeare Weekender. Codasign invites you to get creative with LED lights and decorate your badge, whether you're Montague or Capulet. Free, just turn up, 11am-6pm

BURN THE CURTAIN: Desperately seek Shakespeare in a unique hunt between Barbican and the Museum Of London. Anne Hathaway has sent you on the trail of her sonnet-spouting husband, so join Burn the Curtain for a theatrical experience searching for traces of the Bard. Free, prebook, 11am/12pm/2pm/3pm/4pm

VUE CINEMA TICKETS: Celebrate Leo's Oscar win with these Vue Cinema tickets. See any film (at a participating cinema, see the list on the website) at any time over the weekend. It's a great chance to see those award-sweepers for a bargain price. £8.10, prebook, various times

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Saturday 5 March

See Frankenstein-inspired film tonight (see below). Image: John Simpson

BOTTICELLI REIMAGINED: Join the V&A in celebrating the work of Sandro Botticelli and those artists who've been inspired by him at this exhibition, opening today with 50 original Botticelli works as well as pieces by Rossetti, Magritte, Schiaparelli and Warhol. £16.50/£15, prebook, 10am

DRY STONE WALLING: Get to grips with traditional dry stone walling at this central London workshop. Learn the heritage of walling and terminology used, while you rebuild a freestanding dry stone wall with the help of your Dry Stone Walling Association instructor. All materials provided. £85, prebook, 10am-4pm

BAFTA PREVIEW: BAFTA-nominated CBBC show, Wolfblood, comes to BAFTA Piccadilly for a preview this Saturday. Be among the first to see the opening two episodes and have a chance to put your questions to director, Jermain Julien, and stars, Leona Vaughn and Louis Payne in the aftershow Q&A. £5/£3, prebook, 11am

GIANT COLOUR IN: Celebrate World Book Day in colour with the BFG's Giant Colouring Sheet, which he invites all children to help him finish at Foyles, Westfield, Stratford. Kids (and big kids) can also sample disgustingly delightful sweets inspired by the Roald Dahl books. Free, just turn up, 11am-1pm

COFFEE MASTERCLASS: Coffee lovers, your caffeine fix just got better. Learn the secrets to brewing the perfect cup of Joe at this Islington Coffee Workshop with Jenius Social and Kerstin Mercer. Experiment with various styles of cup-making, the Aeropress, French press, Chemex and pour-over, while you sample espresso throughout the session. £29, prebook, 1pm

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TUBE TREASURE HUNT: Cryptic puzzles, strategy and teamwork, all set in the underground world of the tube. Grab your team members, a smartphone and compete to be master of the Tubiverse on this interactive treasure hunt, Tubeopoly, starting at a secret location. £15, prebook, 1pm

BEYOND THE FENCE: The first show conceived and created by computer, Beyond The Fence takes live entertainment into the digital era at the Arts Theatre. Following the formula of hit musicals, it's modelled on a statistical study of the musical theatre recipe of success. Will it be a hit? You'll have to see. £20-£25, prebook, 2.30pm/7.30pm

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CLOSE UP FILM: Marking 200 years since Mary Shelley's legendary dream that led to the creation of Frankenstein, Close Up Film Centre presents two films inspired by her most famous characters. See the London premier of Monster, by Eelyn Lee, plus Bill Morrison's Spark of Being. Also join a Q&A with artist, Eelyn, after the screening. £12/£10, prebook, 8pm

99 CLUB COMEDY: Fancy a silly Saturday? Head to 99 Club, Soho, for a comic collection of laugh-wranglers bringing jokes, stories, mirth and mayhem to the stage. Tonight's lineup includes Hal Cruttenden, Keith Farnan and Mike Wilmot. £10, prebook, 8pm

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STANDON CALLING: For just one night, Standon Calling is getting you in the festival mood with its night at Vault Festival. Head underground to the Waterloo Vaults for bands, great atmosphere and a proper party. £12, prebook, 10.30pm

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Sunday 6 March

Have a scone this Sunday at this Brew Of Love tea. Image: Carolina

KEW GARDENS PHOTOGRAPHY: Drop into the Nash Conservatory at Kew Gardens for a discussion with photographer, Michael Warren, about what makes a winning picture. It's also the last day of Orchids 2016 in the gardens, so catch their colourful display too. £16.50/£15.50, prebook, 10am-5.30pm (gardens), photography talk: 12pm-2pm

CHOCOLATE TOUR: Sample the delights of Mayfair on this chocolate tour and tasting. Visit a selection of the area's finest chocolatiers, try their exquisite samples and discover a history of chocolate in one of London's most prestigious areas. £15, prebook, 12.30pm

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SUNDAY ROAST WITH JAZZ: The inventive folk at Boisdale invite you to Canary Wharf for Sunday roast with a jazz soundtrack. Whether you Eat That Chicken, nibble on Cheesecake or just Get Happy, enjoy some great musicians plus a three-course lunch. £37.50, prebook, 1pm

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MOTHER-IN-LAW'S DAY MURDER: one mile, 18 murderers, 75 deaths — there've been some gruesome goings-on in London. Give your mother-in-law a gory treat on this Murder Mile walking tour filled with stories of Soho's horrible history. £15/£12, prebook, 1pm

MOTHER'S DAY TEA: Enjoy a selection of handmade desserts paired with loose leaf teas at Brew Of Love. Whether you treat your mum or yourself, this twist on an afternoon tea at Trinity Buoy Wharf combines relaxing with a chance to learn about this British institution. £28, prebook, 2pm

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SUNDAY ROAST COMEDY: The Water Poet's ringing with laughs this weekend. City Improv presents Comedy Sunday Roast, busting with scenes, games and crazy characters. Funny stuff to finish off your weekend with. £1.50, prebook, 5.30pm

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SARA PASCOE'S SALON: Join the comedian for a contest of hilarious tales at The Book Club in Sara Pascoe's Literary Salon. Put pen to paper yourself and bring your ponderings to compete for the prize. Or just come for the laughs. £5, prebook, 6.30pm

SOGGY BRASS SHOW: Join an evening of hand-picked and new comedy at Southwark Playhouse. Hot comedy stalwarts Velvet Trumpet present six different acts precisely chosen for your delectation and delight. £10/£7, prebook, 7pm

FIRST WORLD WAR CONCERT: Commemorate the first world war in a night of classical music at the Royal Festival Hall. From John Powell's A Prussian Requiem to A Lark Ascending — catch the Philharmonia Orchestra's beautiful tribute, this Sunday. £20/£10, prebook, 7.30pm

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INDIAN BANQUET: For a complete Indian feast, join Ranjeet for a five-course banquet in her home. She'll spoil you with tasty dishes, drinks and tips on making the dishes yourself. It's a Mother's Day treat with a spicy side and a chance to discover more about cooking homemade Indian treats. £42, prebook, 8pm

MAMMA MIA WITH MEAL: If your mum loves a bit of singing, dancing, Meryl Streep and tasty dishes, whisk her off to Roxy, London Bridge, for a screening of the hit comedy film, Mamma Mia plus a three-course feast. £19.95, prebook 8pm

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