Christmas dinner in a bun at BIRD
Okay so we know that the whole Christmas sandwich thing has appeal, but really, this is just so much food in a bun. BIRD claim that this sandwich incorporates "all the elements of Christmas dinner", so let's see, shall we? There's cranberry glazed fried chicken (okay so it's not turkey but they are a chicken restaurant), sage and onion stuffing, then panko crusted Brie. Hmm, we think someone has been telling porkies. Oh, there's also a bacon wrapped jalapeno popper. A Christmas classic. No sprouts, BIRD? And what about the roasties? Whatever their take on Christmas dinner it seems they may have forgotten one very important consideration, and that is how the hell people are going to get their mouths around it.
The festive pizza at The Fire Station
We can't sleep soundly thinking about the fact that someone, somewhere, is always putting Christmas dinner on a pizza. This one is topped with pork and sage stuffing, maple bacon and chestnuts (mmm, crumbly nuts on a pizza - hold the pepperoni!), with cranberry sauce and parsnip crisps. No. Stop it.
The Fire Station, 150 Waterloo Road, SE1 8SB
The Christmas pizza at Fire and Stone
The Christmas pizza at Fire and Stone is the stuff of legend, and we don't mean that as a compliment. Despite repeated online ridicule, they bring it back every year. In case you're not familiar with it, and that horror film you'd been hoping to see at the cinema is fully booked tonight, let us enlighten you. It is topped with roast turkey, sausage, apricot and herb stuffing, brie, bacon, roast potatoes, brussels sprouts, and cranberries. Now we're no food snobs, but this is just the pits. If you like the sound of 'doner kebab spaghetti' or 'Greek salad pasty' however, it could be a life changer.
Fire and Stone, see website for locations
Tempura brussels sprouts at Sexy Fish
Yes, Sexy Fish is the name of a real restaurant. You have to believe us. It's also one of the hottest restaurants in town right now. No, honestly, it is. They're serving brussels sprouts given the Japanese tempura treatment, meaning they're given the daintiest dipping in a light batter and deep fried to an elegant crisp.
Sexy Fish, Berkeley Square House, Berkeley Square, W1J 6BR
Christmas dinner nuggets at Hawksmoor
Hawksmoor have nuggetised (definitely a word) the Christmas dinner at their Spitalfields bar, which should appeal to those who prefer all their meals to come in deep fried finger food form. It contains minced buttermilk fried turkey thigh and a pig in a blanket wrapped around a melting cheese core (presumably so named since it will be as hot as the sun), with a dipping sauce of cranberry ketchup. We have to admit that it sounds rather nice...
Hawksmoor Spitalfields, 157A Commercial Street, E1 6BJ
The Rudolph Burger at Lucky Chip
Now don't worry, it doesn't contain actual rein... oh no wait, it does. The Rudolph Burger is back for 2015. It contains a burger of reindeer meat, topped with applewood smoked bacon, Stilton, blueberry and blackberry gin jam, aioli and rocket. A work of festive genius if you ask us.