A lot's been said about the election results, most of it focusing on who won and lost between Labour and the Conservatives, and that astonishing collapse of the Liberal Democrats. But there are other stories to tell.
For a start, the map above shows who came third in constituencies across London. To the south west, Labour drops into third where the fight is between the Tories and Lib Dems; in the east, where UKIP didn't come third they came second. In inner London, some constituencies are replacing the Lib Dems with the Greens as their third party of choice.
It's been an astonishing rise for Farage's party, coming second in Barking, Orpington, Romford, Hornchurch and Upminster — and Dagenham and Rainham, with 29.8% of the vote (that's 12,850 individual votes). In 2010, UKIP didn't even save its deposit there (i.e., it got less than 5% of the vote).
Other constituencies where UKIP saved its deposits were (deep breath): Beckenham, Bermondsey and Old Southwark, Bethnal Green and Bow, Bexleyheath and Crayford, Brentford and Isleworth, Carshalton and Wallington, Chelsea and Fulham, Chingford and Woodford Green, Chipping Barnet, all three Croydons, Ealing North, East Ham, Edmonton, Eltham, Enfield North, Erith and Thamesmead, Feltham and Heston, Greenwich and Woolwich, Hayes and Harlington, Hendon, Holborn and St Pancras, both Ilfords, Islington South and Finsbury, Kingston and Surbiton, Lewisham East, Lewisham West and Penge, Leyton and Wanstead, Mitcham and Morden, Old Bexley and Sidcup, Poplar and Limehouse, Romford; Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner; Sutton and Cheam, Uxbridge and South Ruislip, Walthamstow, West Ham, Wimbledon.
The Greens didn't manage to come second anywhere, but achieved some thirds for the first time in a London general election.
The Greens saved their deposits in Bethnal Green and Bow, Camberwell and Peckham, Cities of London and Westminster, Dulwich and West Norwood, Greenwich and Woolwich, Hackney North and Stoke Newington, Hackney South and Shoreditch, Holborn and St Pancras (we should think so, given the candidate was Natalie Bennett), Hornsey and Wood Green, Islington North, Islington South and Finsbury, Kensington, all three Lewishams, Leyton and Wanstead, Richmond Park, Streatham, Vauxhall, Walthamstow, West Ham.
Liberal Democrat collapse
Good grief. Not only have the Lib Dems gone from seven MPs to just one (hello, Tom Brake in Carshalton and Wallington, do you feel lonely?) — and with a majority of 1,510 they might not even hang onto that next time around — they also lost their deposits in all the following seats:
Barking, Battersea (even though they came third), Bethnal Green and Bow, Bexleyheath and Crayford, Chipping Barnet, Croydon Central, Croydon North, Dagenham and Rainham, Ealing North, Ealing Southall, East Ham, Eltham, Enfield North, Enfield Southgate, Erith and Thamesmead, Feltham and Heston, Finchley and Golders Green, Hackney South and Shoreditch, Hammersmith (third again), Harrow East, Harrow West, Hayes and Harlington, Hendon, Hornchurch and Upminster, both Ilfords, Mitcham and Morden, Old Bexley and Sidcup, Romford, Tooting, Tottenham, Uxbridge and South Ruislip, Walthamstow, Westminster North.
The prize for the person with least votes cast for them goes to... independent candidate James Jackson, standing in Uxbridge and South Ruislip, who got 14 people to put an X next to his name. Uxbridge and South Ruislip attracted an awful lot of no-hopers (possibly the lure of definitely appearing on telly next to the anointed blond one?); Jane Lawrence, party leader of The Realists' Party, got 18 votes there. Five other candidates in Uxbridge polled less than 100 votes, including the candidates from The Monster Raving Loony Party and The Eccentric Party of Great Britain.
The other wooden spoon goes to Steve Freeman of The Republican Socialist Party, standing in Bermondsey and Old Southwark, who picked up 20 votes. Freeman is the party's first parliamentary candidate; he might be the last.
Big hitters and close calls
East Ham has cemented its position as the safest seat in London: Labour's Stephen Timms won with 77.6% of the vote, 34,252 votes ahead of his nearest rival (if 'rival' isn't a laughable word in this context). On the Tory side, Nick Hurd in Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner has the greatest share of the vote (59.6%), but Zac Goldsmith in Richmond Park has a larger actual vote cushion (23,015 votes; turnout was greater in Richmond).
Seats that everyone will be talking about as marginals in 2020 are Croydon Central, which the Conservatives held by 165 votes; Ealing Central and Acton, which Labour won by 274 votes; and Ilford North, which Labour took by 589 votes.
Read more of Londonist's election coverage.