Interesting and unusual things to do for a fiver or less this week.
Monday 30 September
SHARKNADO: Yes, it's true. Crap Film Club are screening the 'bloody hell how did this get commissioned' TV movie where it Actually. Rains. Sharks. Go to The Book Club in Shoreditch. £3.50 advance / £4.50 on the door, 7pm
SATIRE: Andy Zaltzman rips into the establishment in a headline slot at The Good Ship in Kilburn. One of the best satirists around. £4 advance / £5 on the door, 8pm
Tuesday 1 October
COMEDY: Angel Comedy in Islington has put together a week of free gigs featuring – among others – Daniel Simonsen, Sara Pascoe, Arthur Smith, Simon Munnery and Jarred Christmas. Free, just turn up, doors open 7pm
HUMAN RIGHTS: What has the European Convention on Human Rights ever done for us? asks a panel that includes MPs Emily Thornberry and Caroline Lucas, at the LSE. Free, just turn up, 6.30pm
SHRINKING: The Grant Museum screens 1957 movie The Incredible Shrinking Man with an introduction from Historian of Biology Professor Joe Cain. Free, just turn up, 6.30pm
Wednesday 2 October
SAUCY: Enjoy a mildly erotic poetry night at the Gallery Cafe in Bethnal Green with Kirsten Irving, Jon Stone, Anja Konig and Jerrold Yam. £3, just turn up, 7pm
WALK: Take an illustrated walk around Holland Park and surrounds and find out about some of the people who've lived nearby. Free, prebook, 2pm
Thursday 3 October
POETRY: It's National Poetry Day and the Southbank Centre, as always, pushes the boat out with a day of free readings from Simon Armitage, Aoife Mannix, John Hegley, Francesca Beard, Patience Agbabi and more. Free, just turn up, from 1pm
WRITING: Five writers, including Emma Darwin and Lloyd Shepherd, read from their work and talk about writing history, at the Working Men's College Library in Camden. Free, just turn up, 7pm
Friday 4 October
THEATRE: Imelda Staunton and Jim 'Carson' Carter talk about their experiences of working at the National Theatre in the NT's temporary venue, the bright red Shed. £4 / £3, prebook, 6pm
MALAYSIA: 20 Malaysian restaurants park up in Trafalgar Square selling food and ingredients to take home, as well as live entertainment and an art exhibition. Free entry, just turn up, 12-10pm
Saturday 5 October
DANCE: Follow a dance performance on a heritage showboat as it travels Regent's Canal from Granary Square, part of Dance Umbrella 2013. Bring a smartphone and headphones. Free, just turn up, various times Saturday and Sunday
NIBBLES: Enjoy free treats from five restaurants and shops in Nunhead on the Appetite Festival food trail. Free, follow the trail yourself, 2-5pm
Sunday 6 October
HISTORY: 1800s war nurse Mary Seacole guides visitors round the Horniman Museum and tells her story, to start Black History Month. Free, just turn up, various times Saturday and Sunday
ART: Find a gallery near you that's participating in Art Licks Weekend, running special events and exhibitions showcasing emerging artists. Free, just turn up, Friday-Sunday
Check out our map of free things to do in London for more frugal fun.
