Things To Do In London This Weekend: 16-17 March

All weekend

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: HMS Belfast, 75 years afloat this weekend - Paddy's Day to be exact. Visit this top attraction this weekend to meet her veterans, eat Irish food and jig along to Irish entertainment. Normal admission price: adults £14.50, children free, open 10am-5pm.

TIGER CUBS: It's Tiny Tigers Kids Weekend down at Tiger Tracks in St Pancras Station. Download an activity sheet here and expect storytelling, dance, art and crafts, photography workshops, facepainting and fancy dress competitions. Go stripy! All free.

TELEGRAPH HILL: The nineteenth Telegraph Hill Festival is well underway. Visit this patch of south London and you'll find a community production of Oh, What A Lovely War, kids' stuff, knitting, a promenade murder mystery experience, gardening and an illustrated talk about the history of the canals and railways of New Cross Gate.

FILM: The 27th London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival starts on 14 March screening films themed on Hearts, Bodies and Minds. It's at BFI Southbank, check the website for films, times and tickets.

ANTIQUES: The Chelsea Antiques Fair takes place at Chelsea Town Hall. Browse 37 exhibitors and feel good knowing your entry fee goes to support two charities. Admission £5, just turn up, open 11am-6pm (5pm on Sunday).

HUMAN RIGHTS: Bringing human rights abuses to life through storytelling, the Human Rights Watch Film Festival is underway at Curzon Soho, ICA and Ritzy cinemas until 22 March. Check the website for listings, times and tickets.

Saturday 16 March

TUBE: Manor House station celebrates its 80th birthday with an open day and station tours. Make a whole transport nerding day of it and pootle up the Piccadilly Line to Southgate to see another Holden building which opened 80 years ago and drop by Ross Ashmore's tube station paintings exhibition. All free.

MUSIC MAKING: Book a free music lesson and try learning to play a musical instrument on Learn to Play Day. Free, check the website for participating stores and venues and booking.

BIG BANG FAIR: Visit The Big Bang Fair at ExCeL — the UK’s largest fair for science, technology, engineering and maths, specifically designed for young people. Continues tomorrow. Free, prebook, 9.30am-5.30pm

MASLENITSA: Celebrate the Russian Sun Festival in Trafalgar Square with family and friends. Expect music, crafts, authentic Russian food, plus games and other fun in the kids’ marquee. Zdravstvui Maslenitsa! Free, just turn up, from 1.30-6.30pm.

BAMBOOZLE: Camden Arts Centre raises money with the Big Bamboozle, an afternoon of street food, family activities and marking the 99th Birthday of pioneering modernist Finchley Arkwright-Keslake-Essendine. In the evening, there's a glamorous, bohemian party and a big art auction. Check the website for details. From 2pm till late.

TREES: Aspirant aborists might enjoy a tree walk round Alexandra Park. Free, just turn up, 2-3.30pm.

FREE FILM: Watch Attack the Block at Wyndham & Comber Tenants Hall as part of Camberwell Free Film Festival. Free, just turn up for 2.30pm.

INVENTIONS: In National Science and Engineering Week learn something about London inventions and discoveries with entertaining expert, Laurence Scales. Tickets £10, book, 2.30-4.30pm.

PING PONG: Pop Up Ping Pong (PUPP) throws a launch party, involving lots of ponging, booze and food, in a disused Kensington pub. Tickets £5+bf online, book, from 6.30pm-1am.

V-DAY: Support a benefit production of the Vagina Monologues in aid of the London Feminist Network at the Rose Lipman Building Theatre, De Beauvoir Road, N1. Tickets £10, concessions £8, starts 7.30pm.

CEILI: On the eve of St. Patrick’s Day enjoy a night of Irish Céili dancing in the beautiful 1930s Art Deco Borough Hall in Greenwich. A caller will keep your feet moving in the right direction, keeping up with the Fiddlestix Ceilidh Band. Tickets £8/£6 concessions, call 020 8293 9741 to book, runs 8-10pm.

ANIMAL PARTY: We Are Can celebrate their first anniversary with the "biggest, cakest, most performative birthday party" at the New Empowering Church, E8. Tickets £5 in advance, £8 on the door, from 8pm-3am.

Sunday 17 March

CRAIC: Check out our post about where and how to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

CLEAN UP: Volunteer and join a Capital Clean Up session near you, in Southwark, Richmond and Lambeth.

VINTAGE: Cecil Sharp House hosts the Vintage Fashion Fair. £3 entry, just turn up, from 11am-5pm.

ARCHAEOLOGY: Visit Fulham Palace today and take along that old bottle you found on the Thames foreshore for the Archaeology Roadshow. Free entry to the Palace, grounds and roadshow - which takes place between 1.30-3.30pm.

FILM: Docklands Cinema Club screens experimental film, The Nine Muses, which offers "an existentialist rumination on the experience of migration to post-war Britain". Free, just turn up, 2-4pm.

GET INSIDE: The Museum of Immigration and Diversity at 19 Princelet Street briefly which opens up to the public this afternoon. Entry is free, but a donation is most welcome. Wrap up warm, this building is very cold! And be prepared to queue - the last open days were terrifically busy. Between 2-4pm.

HISTORY & HERSTORY: Enjoy a night of poetry, music, spoken word and singing to celebrate Women's History Month at the The Book Club with Booked and It's All Happening. Listen to what the girls and the boys have to say. Tickets £5 in advance, £6 on the door, starts 6.30pm.

QUIZ: Take part in the Big Film Quiz at The Bear as part of Camberwell Free Film Festival. Free, just turn up (get there early), starts 7pm.

EASTERTIDE: London chamber choir Voce give a concert of seasonal sacred singing at Grosvenor Chapel, South Audley Street. Tickets £12 / £9 concessions in advance or £15/£12 on the door, starts 7.30pm.

THE NOSE: The story of a man who misplaces his nose and goes off in search of it becomes a bizarre and macabre yet darkly humorous performance by puppets. See The Nose, part of FIRSTS Festival at Little Angel Theatre. For ages 8+, tickets £5, starts 8pm.

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