Monday: Take your unwanted super swish clothes to the Piccadilly Institute for a super swish clothes swap. Drop off from 6pm, swapping starts from 7.30pm, with half price drinks (£5).
Tuesday: The Nemtsov Piano Trio give a free recital (up to £2.75 booking fee) at the Southbank Centre. They'll be performing works by Fauré, Shostakovich, Piazzolla and a new piece by Daniel Kidane (7.45pm).
The Grand Inquizitor is back at the Grand Union in Kennington to test your knowledge of everything. OK, maybe not everything, but it could be anything (7pm, £3 per person).
Wednesday: Lunchtime lecture at the V&A with Gormley to Gaga display curators Kate Bailey and Peter Farley talking about the best of UK performance design over the last four years (1pm, free).
A later lecture at the LSE goes by the name of My Britain's Fuck All: zombie multiculturalism and the race politics of citizenship. Paul Gilroy looks at identity, multiculturalism and race in Britain (6.30pm, free).
Thursday: Comedians tell Tall Tales at the Good Ship in Kilburn, including Benet Brandreth, John Finnemore, Ian Leslie, Kate Ferguson and new material from Radio 4's Warhorses of Letters (8pm, £5).
Fortean London looks at Mermaids with Paolo Viscardi (Horniman Museum) and Ross MacFarlane (Wellcome Library) at The Bell, 50 Middlesex Street E1 7.30pm for 8pm start (£3/£2).
Friday: The Queen's House in Greenwich hosts a night of Jubilee-themed fun: Punch and Judy for grown-ups, ballroom dance lessons, painless tattoos and DJs (7pm, free, but booking required).
Reel Islington film club is showing the excellent film Festival by Annie Griffin, set at the Edinburgh Festival and starring Stephen Mangan, Raquel Cassidy, Lyndsey Marshal and Chris O'Dowd, at the Old Fire Station in Holloway (7.30pm, £5 / £2.50).
Saturday: If you want a break from Jubilee-related things, more than 109,000 images of Londoners jumping are on display at ExCel until 9 June. Hackney artist Clare Newton is hoping to break the Guinness World Record for the longest photographic montage – it measures over a kilometre (free).
Sunday: Stoke Newington Literary Festival is on all weekend with most events a fiver or less, but at 1pm this afternoon you can see Craig Taylor and Mark Mason talk about their brilliant books on Londoners and walking the tube overground (£5).
Check out our things to do in London for free page for more.
Photo of the Queen's House tulip stairs by aniagett from the Londonist Flickr pool
