Luke Wright is a poet and broadcaster, part of fantastic poetry group Aisle 16 and co-programmes Latitude Festival's poetry arena. Because he is basically a top guy, he wrote and recorded this election poem for us.
It's politics done Hello style
think Andrew Neill meets Jeremy Kyle
smear till ruined, wave and smile.
How vile! Bojo & The Newt.
With moral standards somewhat lax
they're armed with stacks of so-called facts
just don't ask how they pay their tax
LIFT ATTACKS! Bojo & The Newt.
It's BoJo taking on The Newt
two heavyweights in navy suits
no stunt too cheap, no pose too cute
no awkward stat they won't refute
no tiny blim they won't dispute
to spin their way to London's loot
and drag us into disrepute.
Hit mute! BoJo & The Newt.
So London folk, it's up to you
paint it red or get all blue
just make it stop whatever you do.
Toodaloo. Bojo & The Newt.
If you liked this you'll love Luke Wright's Cynical Ballads at the Soho Theatre, 2-5 May. Tickets cost £10-£12.50.