Love is in the air and we don't care because there's plenty around to warm more than just our cockles, so with zip, zero and zilch ado, here are our Zingers for this week.
Zinger Of The Week: Mat Ricardo's London Varieties @ Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, Thursday
Mat Ricardo was once a North London school boy. Since then, he has learned how to juggle, smile and wow audiences in Covent Garden and around the world with his exceedingly charming brand of comedy and showmanship. One of the most-loved figures on the London circuit returns with a new series of shows in which he will be introducing a bill of current stars and a past great who will be interviewed by Mr Ricardo himself. As well as revealing some of it live on stage, this show's bold format will be making cabaret history. Go. £10
Bouffant bon vivant showgirl Miss Hope Springs continues her tales of woe in her new show Miss Hope Springs…Sings Her Songs at the Leicester Square Theatre. Following on from 2011′s Je M’appelle Hope, Springs’ alter ego Ty Jeffries – son of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s Lionel Jeffries, don’t you know - has had dinner with Frank Sinatra, danced down Sunset Boulevard with Fred Astaire and even spoke to us last year. Yowsers. Show continues until 10 February. £10/£8 concessions.
Get your cheap-and-very-cheerful thrills tonight with the duke of dark humour Des O'Connor as he accompanies himself on the ukulele at the Strand's Cellardoor. FREE!
Mental illness is the subject of Italian performance artist Dario D'Ambrosi new show Frustration (Frustra-Azioni) which receives its London premiere tonight at the officially-now-saved Wilton's Music Hall. £10
As ever, a busy Thursday night for cabaret fiends everywhere. Crank up the cloning machine again, Igor.
As well as the Zinger Of The Week (see above), we recommend the following:
Damn Fluid, ex-singer of glam rockers Ramshaft will be joining Londonist favourite Ophelia Bitz on stage at her celebrated ArtWank! shows. With her premium collection of vintage smut and his infamously potty mouth, we reckon there's a night of total filth in store down at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. £8
What’s up? 4 non-bland singers on "a boat", that’s what’s up. Four Femmes on the Thames will be in Kilburn High Road's The Good Ship mixing song with story like a contemporary version of Londonist favourites The Ruby Dolls. £5/£4 concessions.
Get deep, down and hairy with some brilliant bearlesque and ballad action at the Volupté Lounge with Dave The Bear, Elliot Mason and Mister Meredith.
We've raved about La Rève before but this week's line-up is epic and includes gentleman juggler Mat Ricardo, Belgian bombshell Laurie Hagen, Evening Standard columnist Millicent Binks, the Ronseal of cabaret that is Craig The Incredible Hula Boy and the Australia's Got Talent star aiming to bring "funny sexy" back, Amelia Wood. £12-£75
If the week has left you green around the gills, grab some Shore Leave at the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club. Grab a tattoo and a picture with your particular girl/guy in this port while taking in Irish folk music, accordion-accompanied ditties. £7
There will be both metaphorical and very real cocktails at Hoxton Hall as Valentine's The Tassel Club Cirque du Cabaret blends a heady mixture of circus, burlesque, live electro-swing and action from a surprise Britain's Got Talent star. Jump on the dancefloor and shake until stirred, we say. £30
A good night deserves a good morning. Keep the loving feeling alive with the official Torture Garden Valentine's After Party at the Flying Dutchman from 4am. £15
Down the Old Vic Tunnels, the Vault Festival continues with another eclectic selection. The Great Puppet Horn's new show Pangolin's Teatime will be "providing cultural critique as only cardboard on a stick can." £10. The Vault Festival continues until 26 February.
Two recession-friendly options tonight: dragster Lily White will be at the Cellardoor where you can see her for a very round price or you can watch Timberlina publicly fondle his smooth balls at the RVT’s weekly bingo for £1 a round.
Love is in the air and we don't care. At least, that's what we'll be telling the better half as we drag them away from the usual roses-and-steak palaver to a show tonight. Options include Tricity Vogue's Ukelele Love-In (FREE!), getting Tamara Stein to deliver a personal fundraising operagram or watching a brand-new-likely-never-to-be-repeated chick flick at the Arcola Tent being created in front of our eyes care of the LIGHTS! CAMERA! IMPROVISE crew (£12).
Alternatively, check out LaJoseph John's gender-blending Boy In A Dress at the Ovalhouse. We loved his turn at last year's Alternative Eurovision and this show is a compendium of his three solo memoir shows. As a Valentine's special, the audience tonight will be treated to a glass of bubbly and a pre-show meal with their ticket. Show continues until 3 March. £14.
More fun ideas here.
And if you've never seen Mat Ricardo before, here he is dazzling the Dutch.