This March, Big Society comes to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern as chub culture champion Scottee launches this year's Burger Queen contest at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
The search for London’s top fatty will be spread out over five weeks with four heats and a Grand Final. Instead of how they look in swimwear and their hopes for world peace, contestants in this "beauty contest-slash-talent show" will be measured on Trend (fat fashion), Taste (their signature dish) and Talent ("light entertainment for heavyweights").
Running the rule over the wobbly wannabes will be a high-calibre crew from the worlds of music, cabaret and food. The judges for last year's contest included Christopher Biggins, Paloma Faith, Lisa Stansfield, Jonny Woo, Metro's Marina O’Loughlin and La Soiree's Le Gateau Chocolat with plus-size princess (and ex-Mayoress of Camden) Amy Lamé on resident judge duties. The shows will also include the Pie Chart Rundown, the hotly-anticipated answer to "What's Jude eating this week" and entertainment from the likes of Russella and Timberlina.
Throughout the contest, Scottee - who you may have seen manning the reception desk at the Barbican's Copyright Christmas - will be documenting his efforts to lose weight through crash diets, fitness DVDs and alternative exercise classes. Before he gets started on those, we asked him to nominate his top five choices where this year's entrants can bulk up.
5. Amy Lamé on tour
"Amy always cooks up a storm when we are on the road. Her arancini balls are perfect, not to mention her rocky road!"
3. Paul A Young
"Salted caramels and real hot chocolate with a touch of nutmeg is my tip at any of Paul's cute hangouts. The brownies here are also epic - bulk buy!"
2. Kooky Bakes
"Kooky's Breakfast Bars are dangerous and delightful, rumour has it Kooky's creator is turning his hand to savoury pies! Bring it on!"
1. The RVT Burger
"It's the thing legends are made of, served with chunky chips and a side of London's finest performers."
Nominations open this week with details on how to enter listed on the official site, alongside show dates. Tickets are £7 or £11.99 with the RVT burger and chips (vegetarian option available).