The week ahead in literary London
Wednesday: Aisle 16 are putting on what could easily be a work of genius at Homework (Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, 7.30pm / £5). Inspired by Tom Cruise standing on the bar in Cocktail, declaring "I am the last barman poet" in the worst piece of performance poetry ever, Homework residents including Joe Dunthorne and Luke Wright, plus guests, will be attempting to, er, go one better.
Hear funky music-backed readings from Nikesh Shukla, Jude Rogers and more at the BAC for the SW11 Literary Festival (7pm, £3).
The Flow Festival at the Free Word Centre continues, with Ruth Padel, Orlando Gough, Klaus Zuberbuhler and Geoff Sample discussing the language of humans and animals (6.30pm, £6 / £3).
Jonny Fluffypunk keeps order at Apples and Snakes' Jawdance at Rich Mix (7.30pm, free), with Isis, Greeds, Jack Dean and Angie Fraser.
Rob Penn talks about his quest to build the perfect bike at Pages of Hackney (7pm, £3).
Thursday: Jonathan Franzen's appearance at the Southbank Centre is, inevitably, sold out, but there's plenty of other stuff happening tonight.
DBC Pierre is at Bookslam with Salena Godden and Lewis Floyd Henry, all hosted as usual by Patrick Neate (7.30pm, £8 / £10).
At Flow, an all-day session looks at the business of literary translation (9.30am, £20 / £10), children's books in translation with Gruffalo illustrator Axel Scheffler among others (5pm, free), and the winner of the Harvill Secker Young Translator's Prize will be presented, after a panel discussion with AS Byatt, Nicholas Shakespeare and Margaret Jull Costa (7.30pm, £6 / £3).
Spain's Fernando Valverdo performs his poetry at the Instituto Cervantes (6.30pm).
The SW11 Literary Festival closes at York Gardens Library with storytelling from Vayu Naidu (4pm, free) followed by a local author book fair and party (6.30pm, free).
There's stories and songs from Marie Phillips, Robert Hudson, John Finnemore, Benet Brandreth, Toby Davies and Emma Beddington ('Belgian Waffling') at Tall Tales at the Good Ship in Kilburn (8pm, £5).
Neil Bell and the Roundhouse Poetry Slam Champions join the regulars at Bang Said the Gun in SE1 (8pm, £5).
Novelists Jennie Rooney and Clare Clark talk about their books, travel and historical fiction at the Travel Bookshop (7pm, £5).
Friday: Everyone's favourite physicist, Brian Cox, is signing copies of his Wonders of the Solar System at Waterstone's Gower Street from 1pm.
It's the Big Green Bookshop's mainly-literary-themed quiz at 7pm (£5 per team of maximum 4 people).
Kat Francois hosts a night of Slam Poetry at the Poetry Cafe (8pm, £5 / £3).
Philip Cowell and Bidisha talk about the process of letter writing at the Flow Festival (4pm, £6 / £3), and Bidisha stays on to join Rebecca Lenkiewicz, Jean Sprackland, Elaine Feinstein, Helen Chadwick and Two Women On The Edge Of A Nervous Postcard to perform letters recent and historical (6.30pm, £6 / £3).
Ruth O'Callaghan presents the Essex Poetry Festival in London, with Susan Grindley, Katrina Naomi and Victor Tapner in Camden (7pm).
Saturday: Follow a trail in the British Musem to find clues to a long-lost Mesopotamian story, then hear it all put together later in the Poetry Cafe (from 10.30am).
New Poems on the Underground, and some old favourites, are performed at LSO St Luke's by Gerard Benson and Cicely Herbert with contributions from John Hegley, plus the orchestra and the films Night Mail and The Way to the Sea (7.30pm, £15 / £10).
Elaine Feinstein and poets from the floor read at Salisbury House (7.30pm, £3.50 / £2.50).
Sunday: Ales Machacek and Jane Kirwan read poetry and prose from Second Exile, in a launch party at the Czech Club in West Hampstead (6.30pm).
Monday: Let Me Tell You About Me welcomes Niven Govinden, Gavin James Bower and Kostya Boulich to the Book Club to reminisce abourt correspondence (7.30pm, £5).
Ali Smith, Amit Chaudhuri and Ruth Padel each talk about one of their favourite paintings in the Courtauld Gallery (6pm, £12.50 / £11).
Fleur Adcock, Christina Dunhill, Sam Riviere, Joanna Clark, Nathan Hamilton, Joanne Limburg, Amey De'ath and Michael Mackmin celebrate 25 years of magazine The Rialto at Coffee House Poetry (7.30pm, £7 / £6).
Isabel Hilton chairs a panel discussion on the loss of international coverage from news channels at Flow (7pm, £6 / £3).
Tuesday: Ismail Kadare talks about his life and work at the Flow Festival (6.30pm, £6 / £3), then Aisle 16 members Joe Dunthorne, Tim Clare and Ross Sutherland perform poems using only one type of vowel (9pm, free).
Norman Lebrecht talks about Mahler at the Travel Bookshop (7pm, £5).
Katie Hickman chats about her new novel, The Pindar Diamond, at Woolfson & Tay (7pm, £5).
Sonja Besford, Anthony Howell, Abigail Parry and Penelope Shuttle are reading at the Betsey Trotwood for the first of Ambit's winter events there (7pm, free).