Football: Kroenke's Grab-Arse Gamble Won't Work

Like horny teens with busy hands, businessmen Stan Kroekne and Alisher Usmanov have spent the past year cosying up to Arsenal, each trying to get a grip on a fistful of buttock and groom the club under their ownership. Yet in an interview with BBC Sport, chief executive Ivan Gazidis brushed off the amorous approaches, and rubbished the suggestion that either suitor would launch a takeover bid. "We're happy with the multi-ownership model", he confirmed, which aside from Kroenke and Usmanov includes Sunday Times rich list regulars Danny Fiszman and Lady Nina Bracewell-Smith. In the lengthy discussion, Gazidis also attemped to scuttle the numerous rumours linking captain Cesc Fabregas with Barcelona, though such a move will probably depend on whether Arsenal end a five year trophyless run this season. (Image / wallyg).