Winner Of X Factor: International Biggest Fan

It's nearly the weekend! Which means hours and hours of competition format talent shows and quality sofa time! And who could be looking forward to it more than Fu Ying, Chinese ambassador to London, the TV shows' biggest international fan? No one! Except her daughter, who has asked if she can come over from China to join the shrieking crowds outside the house where the contestants are sequestered. That's a long way to come, to stand in the cold and shriek for hours at a time.

Neighbouring Chinese embassy staff have complained about the noise of the starstruck crowd. With true diplomatic strategy, Fu Ying has commented to the media that despite the noise of the fans, she enjoys the programme and has her favourites that she roots for. The Chinese people are not to be regarded as an X Factor hating community; she makes clear that there are similar talent spotting shows in China that attract the same scale of adoration and screaming. They are good for the current generation who can hope to have their talents recognised and aim high (as long as those ambitions are to have the shiniest clothes and highest hair and repeat bookings for shampoo adverts)

And she will not disclose who are her favourites, another sign of diplomacy in Fu Ying, which is wise considering the storm of hormones and fervour outside the X Factor house. The Chinese embassy coming across as spoilsports shutting down the fans outside the motherlode of their desires would be bad. The Chinese ambassador incurring the wrath of Jedward fans by proclaiming Danyl will win would be much, much worse.