Conspiracy Theory of the Day: London's Railings

SallyB2
By SallyB2 Last edited 174 months ago

Last Updated 27 October 2009

Conspiracy Theory of the Day: London's Railings

2710.railing.jpg There was a lot of clanging outside Londonist Towers this morning. We mean, more clanging than usual. And banging. So we went to investigate. Turns out some little men from the council had come to remove all the street railings: our corner today, the other side of the street tomorrow. Now these railings had been installed not six years ago for Health & Safety reasons following a number of appalling accidents where vehicles had mounted the pavement. Intrigued, we asked, nay, grilled the chappies with the pick axes. Who were actually very well-informed for council officials. Health & Safety, they said. Seems it's all to do with the number of appalling accidents involving cyclists being crushed against railings this year. You'd think that TfLwould have worked all this out in advance. Surely the answer is a carefully designed mixture of both? So far so much dithering and wasting of tax payers' money. Not to mention preventable tragedy.

But you know what? We've worked out what's really going on here. Spondulics are a bit tight for 2012, right? Well, during WWII when the government needed extra resources for munitions, the railings of many of London's squares were removed and recycled into, well, other stuff. Obviously today's railings are tomorrow's hurdles. Or javelins. Or bobsleighs. We're on to you, Boris. (Image/steve angelkov)