Nude Nutter Does Runner From Plinth

By Hazel Last edited 104 months ago
Nude Nutter Does Runner From Plinth

Plinth.jpg Two pigeons in Trafalgar Square watch the antics of a One And Other participant.

Bill: He’s got a tent.

Ben: What the hell is that?

Bill: [Bobbing up and down with excitement] It’s a blow-up doll! It is! It is a blow-up doll! Christ almighty, what is he playing at?

Ben: [Pause. More activity on the plinth] Dinosaur.

Bill: It’s not a dinosaur, it’s a blimmin’ crocodile.

Ben: He is flinging an inflatable dinosaur off the plinth. That is not a crocodile.

Bill: Chicken looks scared.

Ben: Chicken looks scared because it's up on that plinth with a mad man who is chucking inflatable sex dolls and crocodiles into Trafalgar Square.

Bill: [Pause. Some activity on the plinth] Oh. My. God. He is, isn’t he. Isn’t he? Completely. Completely naked. Blimey…

Ben: [Shouting] And he’s left her! There he goes! What a bastard! He’s left her! He’s climbed down and run off in the nip!

[In the distance, from the chicken] Noooooo! Come back! Don’t leave me! Oh, god! Why do they always leave me? Why? Oh, god, why?

Bill: [Muttering] Hen-pecked, that’s why.

Ben: Glenda says she’s seen more nudes out here since the plinth project started than she did that time she flew into the National Gallery.

Bill: I’ve seen more art out here than in that gallery.

Ben: But is it art?

Bill: Michael still has £50.00 going on a bet that he can crap on one of them. He doesn’t think it’s art.

Ben: Not sure about that, Michael crapped on every Antony Gormley statue around the Hayward Gallery and those were ‘art.’

Bill: They’ve got her down. Look at those feathers… beautiful.

Ben: But she’s no good for anyone now. Ruined. Crying really toughens the meat.

[In the distance, from the chicken receding into the distance on the JCB] He said he’d make me famous… he said I would be on TV… he said he loved me…

Bill: That callous, naked bastard.

Image of netting around the plinth by author.

Last Updated 04 September 2009


To save everyone hunting for it, here's the video


you'll need that one too to see the jump:
(no chicken in sight though...)


The chicken appears around 35 mins on the main vid