Pet Pot-bellied Pig Awaiting Licence For Walkies

By Hazel Last edited 118 months ago
Pet Pot-bellied Pig Awaiting Licence For Walkies

Image author's own
Two canaries in a large cage playing Chinese checkers, in a council flat, Bethnal Green, East London

Stanley: She's still under house arrest.

Marcus: Aung San Suu Kyi?

Stanley: No, I'm talking about Mimi next door. She's still waiting for a licence from Whitehall to be allowed out for walkies in the street.

Marcus: Oh. Who is Mimi?

Stanley: Who - ? You don't know Mimi? She's the 20 month old pet pot-bellied pig, her owner is that nice 27 year old art student Silvia Reis... they live next door.

Marcus: They're new.

Stanley: Quite new. Moved here from Wimbledon not long ago.

Marcus: So what's she under house arrest for?

Stanley: It's not really house arrest, Mimi's just not allowed out for walks until she gets a licence. Pigs carry all sorts of risky diseases, and we're not far from Hackney City Farm, so if she's going to live here, she needs to stick to a certain path and guarantee she'll not make contact with other pigs in case something horrible kicks off.

Marcus: Yeah, swine flu. We're all getting stick these days, it was us and Asian bird flu a while back. It'll be the cats next, then the goldfish. As long as she's not been to Mexico and back, we're alright, aren't we Stanley?

Stanley: Mimi is Portuguese. Should be alright.

Marcus: Lucky thing though when she gets her licence. Would be nice to go outside every now and then.

Stanley: It's your turn Marcus.

Marcus: Lucky thing. I hear she's got 35 fans on Facebook.

Stanley: Ah, but how many people are following her on Twitter?[Makes his move on the checkerboard] Yes! I win! Did you see that move? 6 jumps and all my marbles are in! I'm going to Tweet this. [whips out iPhone, starts pecking at keys]

Marcus: Bloody hell, all you do is Twitter, all day long...

Stanley continues to crow at Marcus, scene fades to black

Last Updated 21 May 2009