It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a hooded garment must be engaged in criminal activity. This is the precedent set by a judge who banned an Asbo youth from wearing a hoodie, a ruling which has been upheld by the High Court.
Lawyers for Greenwich's Jerome Barnes argued that the judge could not order him to refrain from wearing a hoodie, on the grounds that such a move was more an "expression of distaste" than a matter of public safety - which, lest we forget, is the stated reason for the issuing of an ASBO. The lawyer, Jonathan Lennon, likened the hoody to an icon of "youthful rebellion", not unlike bovver boots in the Seventies, and suggested that an Asbo should not warrant the control of an individual's dress code.
Yet Lord Justice Latham disagreed, finding the wearing of the ubiquitous hoodie was done "with the intention of causing fear and reducing the risk of being recognised". Perhaps the esteemed Lord Latham is unaware of the hooded top's noble history? With the hoodie-wearing masses already banned from Bluewater and unwelcome at Westfield, there's not really much left to do with them other than to legally de-robe them and clad them in tweeds and top hats instead.