So it's the beginning of the legal end to the Madonna and Guy Ritchie marriage, and with minimal fuss or fiscal bitterness. Ritchie won't be taking any of Madonna's millions, their young sons will split their time between the US where Her Madgeness will reside with daughter Lourdes and the UK where Guy will stay. The couple's joint London properties include Mayfair pub The Punchbowl and a big house in Marylebone. The biggest news is that there won't really be much more news to follow up on this: no impromptu 'baptisms' in court or vicious scrutiny of courtroom attire as we have had before in celebrity split-ups.
Clearly feeling robbed of potentially months of McCartney-Mills scale divorce court melodramas, we hear of a rather fantastical catfight between Lindsey Lohan and lover Samantha Ronson who were apparently scrapping in Mayfair nightclub Boujis over Lohan's decision to dance with ex-man friend Calum Best. Lesbian lovers falling out over a man? Two attractive women pulling each other's hair and roughly grappling with one another? Um, did anyone actually see this? And by 'see it', we mean actually witness it and not imagine it in the rare quiet moments when Hollyoaks isn't on Channel 4?
Image by author, showing small child and man having an innocent outdoors hay fight as part of Feast on the Bridge in the autumn. We tried to find a suitable image covering 'lesbian divorce catfight' but had to give up after we realised what that would unleash