Thish Ish Yerr Captain Shpeaking

Euphemism of the week: "aviation function". While it conjures the image of a child running around the back garden, arms akimbo, pretending to be a Sopwith Camel and screaming "uh-uh-uh-uh-uh" as he goes, this phrase was in fact cited by police on Sunday when they arrested a pilot at Heathrow Terminal 1. The 44-year old United Airlines employee, who was scheduled to fly to San Francisco, was breathalysed by officers, who then led him off the jet on suspicion of "performing an aviation function whilst exceeding the alcohol limit".