Recessionist: Get Me The Graphics Department!

By jamesup Last edited 125 months ago
Recessionist: Get Me The Graphics Department!

The terrible stomach churning uncertainty that has embraced our fair city is only slightly tempered by the satisfaction that we called it right - the Office of National Statistics has spoken and the initial estimates for the third quarter of 2008 are that we dived into the recessional darkness. The ONS tell us the culprits were the manufacturing and service industries - so most of them then - only airlines, agriculture, forestry, fishing and, oh yes, the Government bucked the trend.

Of course, we need not remind you that despite what Gordon may or may not have said one quarter of retraction a recession does not make. While the markets don't seem to be pricing in any sudden Christmas recovery - it could happen, maybe. We'll know three months from now.

There is plenty of trauma about: the Maths and Stats graduate's favourite Goldman Sachs is laying off 10% of it's workers (with London set to take a big hit) and the New York shopping trip we were planning is going to involve more Central Park and rather less 5th Avenue at this ($1.55 to the £) rate. That said, London has become a very cheap place for a break if you have dollars in your pocket, so perhaps this year the Christmas shopping tide will turn in the Yankee's favour?

If that wasn't retro enough very important people are now dusting off Keynesian economics - we don't want to bore anyone with the details but suffice it to say they really are looking in the back of the cupboard on this one - and Mandelson is promising 'no return to the 80s', having seen this moustache we can understand his fear.

All this pales into insignificance however before the greatest sign of impending doom - the BBC have seen fit to commission a new graphic and themed web page: 'the downturn'. The recession now joins such important news stories as 'Alien Invaders', 'Oscars 2008' and the US election in having it's own special report page complete with crashing arrow and cleverly integrated word-graphics - for, as Chris Morris taught us, text alone can't quite convey the sense of panic they wish to instil.

So the record has been set and the bar raised: the 62 quarters from 1992 to 2008 stand as Britain's longest period of growth. Fairwell old friend, the Brown Bubble has popped - everyone better grab a sponge.

Last Updated 24 October 2008