Not all of Londonist’s naughtinesses are measured in proof percentage. We do admit to having a weakness for sausage, bean and cheese pasties (don’t knock ‘em ‘til you’ve tried ‘em) when there’s a chill wind whistling round Londonist towers, and when we’re having an attack of the mean reds usually only a fresh cream apple danish will do. What we’re trying to say is that we know a thing or two about bakeries.
The staff at our local Greggs are lovely and accommodating ladies (although not nearly as homely looking as you might imagine) with warm and ready smiles. And they put up with shit. From the cocky school lads on a nick-a-crisp dare, to the young ladies with beauteous countenance but apparently entirely venomous vocabulary; from the old codger whose smell walks into the shop before he does to spend money he’s cadged from other customers, to the tired housewife with tired make-up and even tireder manners. Their abuse ranges from the slightly cheeky to the downright criminal, with personal attacks on the rise.
Does Londonist live in a particularly dodgy hood? No: it would seem that bakery belligerence is on the rise with reports of curmudgeonliness amongst the croissants, violence over the Victoria sponges and assault by pasty. In fact staff at two branches of Bakers Oven (no apostrophe, but we’re sure there should be one) have been battered by their own products very recently.
And then of course there was the recent and incredibly tragic murder of Jimmy Mizen at the Three Cooks Bakery in Lee, which again started with a customer losing it.
It is a sad reflection of society when it resorts to the lobbing or wielding of inanimate objects in place of reasoned discussion or a well-placed riposte. What’s going on, London?
So…if there’s a queue, keep cool. Smile at the nice ladies behind the counter. Tell them they’re wonderful. And if they’ve given you choc chip instead of blueberry, hell, just grin and bear it.
Ammunition from cardamom's flickr stream under the Creative Commons Licence.
Useless information for the day: Greggs and Bakers Oven are owned by the same company. Admittedly their products are somewhat homogeneous, but we still found this fact faintly disturbing.