Boris Loves Labour's Lost Liquor

Dean Nicholas
By Dean Nicholas Last edited 129 months ago
Boris Loves Labour's Lost Liquor
Wine bottles

Wethinks the Livingstone doth protest too much. Our former mayor is upset at the suggestion, made by Boris Johnson, that Ken kept a secret stash of liquor with which to get merry with the wives of Windsor and who knows whom else.

A comedy of errors it may be (that's enough poor Shakespeare references. Eds.), but Boris claims that, when he first moved into the Thameside offices, he discovered a secret fridge stocked with a "goodly hoard... rows and rows of glistening Chateauneuf du Pape".

Sounds a bit like much ado about nothing (right, that's your second warning. Eds.). Yet Ken's not happy. The livid Livingstone suggested that dinner parties at his pad aren't much cop by declaring: "I have never bought a bottle of fine wine in my life."

Perhaps the ribald suggestion by Boris is further evidence of the return of his wit, a force so irrepressible that it, repressed at the behest of campaign manager Lynton Crosby, whose drilling of a rigorous if soporific cadence into the Tory's normally buoyant timbre led to Private Eye labelling him "Boring Johnson". Yet according to the Telegraph, Boris' mischievous side is back - his "schoolboy charm" resurfacing as he labelled City Hall the "gonad" and, barely supressing a schoolboyish snicker, located his office in the "seminal vesicle". Chortles! Fans of such larks can look forward to the imminent return of Boris' Telegraph column, where he promises to "fire shots more or less where I please".

No doubt his goading of Ken is part of such tittering tomfoolery. We hope they'll manage to crack open a bottle of the newly-found wine between them and pour eachother a measure for measure, as in the end, all's well that ends ([snip]. You're fired. Eds.).

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Last Updated 10 June 2008