Londonist may know nothing and care even less about London Fashion Week, but that won't stop us cartwheeling down the nearest catwalk and devouring garms and gimcracks galore like fickle fashionistas on fascistic diets tearing each others' hair extensions at a Primark opening.
The Times has offered a handy cut out and keep (for lunch, perhaps, paper being low in calories) guide to 18 trends for London Fashion Week. Sadly one of those trends isn't 'to have less London Fashion Weeks' - the last one was in September, for heaven's sake. Nope, they're sticking firmly to the sartorial, and in a specious attempt at keeping up with the pretties, Londonist has actually read through the lot.
So, next season. What's up. You want hats? Leggings? Amy Winehouse makeup? They're all in. And ankle boots. This Londonista has no idea why ankle boots are so loved - combined with opaque tights, as recommended, they make the average woman look like she's borrowed Joseph Merrick's bulgy shoes.
On the catwalk, meanwhile, it's all about "weird tights" and high waisted trousers. Groove on, Seventies sister. And military style stuff - won't it ever go away? Oh, and "architectural shoulders". Londonist hopes this means next season we'll see cantilevered jackets with replicas of the Trellick Tower or Lloyds building adorning the collar region, but we suspect we've got the wrong end of the stick.
Some trends we'd love to see yet probably won't ever include London bus conductor chic, superhero-style underpants over tights, Eighties vintage Ken Livingstone 'taches and the abolishment of the salad as a "meal". Don't expect to see any of 'em in '08, but if these fineries start creeping onto the calendar next season, remember where you heard about them first.
Picture from h. wren's Flickrstream