What’s Scaring Off All The Aliens? We Know.

M@
By M@ Last edited 126 months ago
What’s Scaring Off All The Aliens? We Know.
UFO_Kensington.jpg

Despite evidence to the contrary from Dr Who, alien visits to the UK appear to be on the wane.

Newly released Ministry of Defence figures suggest a drop in UFO sightings, as LondonNet reports:

In 1995 128 strange events in the skies over the UK were reported by the public, but by 2006 that figure had dropped to 97. As a comparison, in the same period, human tourism to Britain increased by close to 10 per cent.

So what’s scaring them away? Is a real-life Torchwood protecting the country from alien infiltration? Has the planet just got too damn scary? Could it be the congestion charge?

We’re noticing a correlation with the rise of foot and mouth disease in UK livestock. Could our off-world visitors be of cloven hoof? This would also explain the reduction in sightings of the Devil, as well as a diminution in minotaur and satyr visitations since ancient times. It all fits together. Scientific fact – or as near as damn it.

Londonist calls on the Government to increase funding for foot and mouth research, before our supernatural fauna are eradicated for ever.

Last Updated 08 August 2007