Ratapocalypse: The Dead Don't Go Away In Hayes

By Hazel Last edited 142 months ago
Ratapocalypse: The Dead Don't Go Away In Hayes

Previous tales of the Mouse family can be found here, here , here and here.

Continuing from previous episode... the Mouse family moved out of Newham Hospital, then to Asda, then moved into the Cheesegrater skyscraper, where Papa Mouse discovered that his son Tim-Tim and his wife Mama Mouse were lovers. In despair, Papa Mouse leapt to his death, then returned from the dead to win back the heart of Mama Mouse with an earring he stole from Kate Middleton.

Papa Mouse: I have come back to eat Tim-Tim's brains, and once I have done that, I would like to re-marry Mama Mouse! Whatever the DNA tests say, I will always be the true father of these Mouslings!

Mouslings: Yay! We can have two fathers now, Undead Daddy and Tim-Tim, our Papa Pimpmouse!

Mama Mouse: But I can't re-marry you! It would be wrong! You are... dead!

Papa Mouse: Hahaha, I undead! I am a zombie, I had fallen but then I rose again!

Tim-Tim: How did you do that?

Papa Mouse: I met some lovely people online who organised a jolly Easter Weekend walk around central London. The weather was lovely. Some of the zombies brought food. So much more fun than staying in the Land of the Dead. It's terribly boring there.

Mouslings: Where is the Land of the Dead?

Papa Mouse: The Rodent Land of the Dead is in Hayes, West London. Ah, my children... it is a grim and horrible place.

Mouslings: Oooh, Hayes. Tell us all about it Papa, it sounds so awful.

Papa Mouse: Rats have been gathering in the gardens of houses in Conifer Way, Hayes and have been dying after poison was put down by Hillingdon Council. But once they died, their bodies were left to rot where they dropped as Hillingdon Council couldn't decide if they were responsible for their disposal or perhaps the the people living there should take care of it themselves. One household has a boxful of putrid rat corpses which is rather disturbing and distasteful. A bit like Tim-Tim's pimp outfit.

Tim-Tim: You're just jealous because you've been lurching around with the dead in Hayes while I've been making sweet love to your good lady wife in this gorgeous skyscraper. Go back to Hayes! Shoo, you horrible zombie mouse! [pulls out a crossbow and fires it at Papa Mouse's chest. Papa Mouse dodges the crossbow bolt and then lunges at Tim-Tim, biting him full on the face and turns him into a zombie too]

Mama Mouse: Oh no! Now I have two zombie husbands! All my lovers are undead! What am I going to do?

Mouslings: Let's all move to Hayes! Yay! Fleshmob!

To be continued...

Last Updated 17 April 2007