Queue Ball

By Amity Last edited 190 months ago
Queue Ball

Getting ready to go on a spring holiday? Feeling smug with your plan to arrive at the airport four hours early to ensure a speedy, hassle-free check-in process? Well, wipe that smirk off your face and put your comfiest trainers on because no matter what you do, you’re going to be queuing.

"The operator of Heathrow, Gatwick and Stansted airports has warned that passengers must expect slow check-in times in peak periods to continue.

BAA wants to cut queue waiting to five minutes, 95% of the time.

But it said that the target could not be guaranteed by Easter or summer and did not rule out using marquees for waiting passengers outside terminals."

They say ‘rule out’ using marquees as if it were a bad thing. Instead of being defeatists about this problem, why doesn’t BAA use this to its advantage? We propose a unique solution: turn the marquees into party tents, complete with Tom Jones tunes, cheese-and-pineapple toothpick hedgehogs and pitchers of Pimms. Obviously, that tent would be for the over-60s. But think of the possibilities! They could get DJs spinning in the Dance Tent, a giant inflatable Kiddie Tent (best placed at least half a mile from the airport itself), cans of Stella and folding tables full of stolen gold jewellery in the Burberry Tent, and a Meet The Sopranos Tent for those who still want to complain.

If you’re British, queuing is a part of your life, no, your heritage. If the Germans had won the war there wouldn’t be any queues at all, due to their overachieving efficiency. Embrace it. Queue proudly. And have a bit of a boogie whilst you’re doing it.

Photo courtesy of hugovc

Last Updated 28 March 2007