Those who maintain that South London really isn’t a bit shit have a new and unexpected ally. Aliens. They can’t get enough of the place.
Gobsmacked witnesses watched on in amazement as two sets of bright orange lights flew eerily in formation through the skies above Balham and Tooting on Friday, August 4.
No doubt checking out that superb new supermarket in Norwood. You see, they know the area well. Reports of mysterious flying objects in the south have, erm, skyrocketed. Earlier in the year, a couple described a weird silver pyramid in the skies over Putney.
The pair watched it for a couple of minutes, rotating in the distance and heading towards Wandsworth Town. Then, as soon as it had appeared it vanished.
Hot diggity, that’s intriguing stuff. But what can it all mean? Well, it's not necessarily (or even very probably) creatures from another world. UFOlogist Roy Lake puts a charming spin of doom on the matter:
This is a lot more serious than people think it is. We have got things flying in the skies, they could be experimental craft, military aircraft or even a terrorist threat.
A terrorist threat? Jesus. If Al Qaeda has finally perfected the antimatter containment field and interstellar ramjet we’re all screwed.