You Dirty Rat

By Rob Last edited 152 months ago
You Dirty Rat

If you had to be infested which would you choose, rats or mice?

Your first instinct may be towards mice, they're just not as nasty as rats are they, they're just somehow...cuter.

Well you better forget that namby pamby attitude right away because an infestation is a nuisance not a 'big happy rodent party' and sooner or later the killing will have to begin. And when that happens the only thing you'll be interested in is how much the big cull is going to set you back.

And when it gets to the bottom line the truth is that rats are far easier on the pocket.

You see, as some south London residents have just found out when it comes to the old pied piper routine Croydon council will get rid of any old rat for you completely free of charge (even if your property is not council owned), but if you're unwillingly shacked up with an extended family of mouses...well then you're going to have to fork out nearly £100.

After informing Croydon Council's pest control department of the problem, residents were told it will cost £94 for each household to have the necessary treatment to get rid of the mice.

However, the council offers a similar treatment for rat infestations free of charge.

Residents are fuming and say the council's response that the infestation is a community problem and not an individual household problem is not good enough.

It's a crappy state of affairs, but the council have a point: eliminating the mice from one flat in a block is a bit like turfing out the prostitutes from Kings Cross...they'll just move to the next best patch and start having sex with strangers for money there. We're talking about the prostitutes now, not the mice. Mice don't have sex for money, not yet anyway. Maybe after the nuclear holocaust when it's just them and the cockroaches and a few horny humans.

What were we talking about again?

Last Updated 20 April 2006