Stop Press: MI Colon III Update

By sizemore Last edited 215 months ago
Stop Press: MI Colon III Update

Tom Cruise IS coming to London:

Tom Cruise will meet fans at the London premiere of Mission Impossible 3 on Tuesday after a last-minute decision not to return to his new child. The star was in Rome on Monday for the world premiere, telling reporters he would fly straight back to be with fiancee Katie Holmes and daughter Suri.

It was only yesterday that we said the premiere was going to be a bit naff, but now it's going to be a bit naff with the diminutive Top Gun closet lover.

Katie herself told Tom he should go. "We discussed it. She said 'You know, things change,'" he said... "I realise the fans are going to be there in London and Paris and, you know, everything is cool," he said. "So we're going to hit it. We're going to bang it."

Tom there's no need to bang anything else - we get it. You're not gay.

Suri means "princess" in Hebrew, "red rose" in Persian and "honestly folks, my dad loves pussy" in Southparkian, while Cruise is next tipped to star in a biopic of manly man's man, Rock Hudson.

Last Updated 25 April 2006