Is Paris Hilton the next Madonna?
Over the past few weeks she's been constantly referred to in connection with our capital city. First it's claimed she has no idea that London is in the UK, something every Londoner was quite happy about as it makes Madge-esque bouts of Anglophilia decidedly trickier.
But then it seems someone gave Paris an atlas because ITV booked her to come over and be a 'roving reporter' during this year's Brits.
And now it transpires that Paris actually owns a 50% stake in 'swanky Kensington club' The Connection.
That's a long way from Madonna's efforts to become a fully-fledged Brit/Cockney, but look at it from a long-term perspective and things get much scarier.
A source has told the press that "This is just the start for Paris, and her family would like her to make more investments in London bars," which suggests a gradual, invasive strategy on the part of the dim socialite, plus the bar she's already bought is "a favourite haunt of British royal Prince William".
Do you think that's a coincidence? All that needs to happen is Willy has one drink too many and before you know it Paris is carrying an heir to the British throne. It could happen people!
The only way to stop this? All club together so we can buy that bunch of crap she left behind in a storage facility. Blackmail is is such an ugly word, but it's the only solution in this case.