Never one to rest on His laurels, God Almighty has instructed one of his voice boxes to move with the times and make going to Church on a Sunday less of a drag:
The Reverend Robert Harrison of St John's Church in Hillingdon, west London, said traditional service times were out of touch. Parishioners can now attend half-hour slots between 0800 GMT and 1230 GMT.
This means you can now watch The Heaven & Earth Show and still have plenty of time to find out what Our Saviour's been up to this week. It's certainly a step in the right direction and we look forward to reading His blog or at least His weekly email newsletter. After that Godcasting can only be a few steps away and His MySpace page would be awesome.
Although the new flexi time services mean that committed God-botherers can now sit through ten services in a row, the 12.30 cut off point is still something of a problem for those Londoners who like to spend their Sunday mornings in bed having lots and lots of sex.
We'd recommend following the current trend of giving away DVDs that has seen newspaper sales spike. A free copy of Salo: The 120 Days of Sodom with every wafer might just do the trick. It's got to be better that going back to the old method of smiting and planting dinosaur bones everywhere.