George Clooney. Ladies love him. Men can only admire him. Actor, producer, director, heartthrob, clearly there is nothing this man cannot do. Too good to be true? Judging by his exploits last night, quite possibly.
The Cloonster was out on the town last night (we're not sure where. Walthamstow Stadium? Probably not. Shepherds Bush? Maybe. Somehere flash in the West End? Almost definitely) and upon exiting his chosen venue he decided to hand all his spare cash to a tramp who was slumped outside (tramps are always 'slumped', they're never 'waiting in an alert and focused fashion'). This amount of cash is said to have amounted to a few hundred pounds, which apparently caused one of Cloonotron's entourage to question his actions....
A bodyguard warned the actor that the tramp would only spend the money of booze to which Clooney replied: "So what? That's what I've just done."
Your immediate reaction might well be 'so what? This is just another example of Cloono's famed generosity and all-round goodness. Shame on you, you hater.' But the thing is, George just didn't think this one through did he? He may well have been drinking all night, but it would have been expensive champagne he was guzzling down, not special brew. This tramp will have undoubtedly crawled off to the nearest off-licence, Cloonney-cash in hand, and spent a bundle on high strength lager and fags, before proceeding to lurch around the labyrinthine network of tunnels around Marble Arch tube station, scaring dozens of American tourists and further denting our Capital's reputation as a safe and friendly holiday destination.
Clooney is ruining this city, the berk, which is why we condemn his actions. We reckon Crisis will agree with us, so we're going to contact them to find out.