Olympics Timetable

By Rob Last edited 158 months ago
Olympics Timetable

It was reported over the weekend that the IOC have been busy putting together "a timetable of deadlines" to meet over the next seven years in the run-up to the Olympics.

There isn't much detail on this "timetable of milestones" except for something about sponsorship plans and budgets. However Londonist can reveal that a section of the plan was leaked to us earlier today and we can now give you a sneak peek at what the IOC expects London to do over the next seven years:

Jan 2006: Dream up a ridiculous mascot figure. Must include a skateboard and/or baseball cap to 'appeal to the kids'.
  • Summer 2006: Arrange a high profile 'spat' between Girls Aloud and Heather Small over who will provide the official Olympic 'anthem'. Fistfights/wrestling would normally be encouraged but may best be avoided due to that Tweedy girl.
  • November 2006: First Evening Standard article calling for resignations due to financial irregularities to appear.
  • Early 2007: Realise idea for mascot figure may be offensive to certain minorities and alter accordingly.
  • Summer 2007: Daily Mail article appears claiming Olympics bid win was a hoax and France 'won it after all' .
  • 2008: David Beckham to reveal he's undergoing a sex change, entire process thrown into jeopardy.
  • Early 2009: First Evening Standard article to use the words 'potential national embarrasment' to appear.
  • February 2010: In order to boost country's morale, Daley Thompson should announce he's coming out of retirement.
  • June 2010: Sebastian Coe and Ken Livingstone revealed to be the same person.
  • Early 2011: First Daily Mail article to use the phrase 'Downright farcical'.
  • January 2012: Every builder in the country to go on strike.
  • March 2012: Daily Express article reveals Olympic mascot is a convicted rapist.
  • Last Updated 28 November 2005