TV Troll: Square Eyes Slowly Reverting To Normal

By Jo Last edited 159 months ago
TV Troll: Square Eyes Slowly Reverting To Normal

Isn’t it lovely weather today? Well, let’s hope it stays this nice for the rest of the week, as there’s pretty much bugger-all coming up on the idiot box, if you ignore Big Brother (Craig and Kinga in the hot tub is definitely not mind-safe, but will she manage to smarm up to Derek enough to get him to save her?). There are the usual tired old warhorses of the schedules - Casualty, The Bill, Holby City, Where The Heart Is - but isn’t it time they were melted down into glue, à la Boxer in Animal Farm? Haven’t they jumped the shark yet?

Once again, with the exception of the sublime Nip/Tuck (Wed 10.55pm C4 - this week: Julia falls through plate glass) and an interesting-looking documentary about state-sanctioned shagging in Paris (The Paris Brothel: Storyville, Tue 11.20pm BBCTwo), it’s up to reality TV to provide anything even remotely innovative. Ann Widdecombe To The Rescue (Tue 8.30pm BBCTwo) proves that watching Ann dress down rowdy proles is just as entertaining as watching her froth on Newsnight. This week: a woman who thinks her daughter is too fat, and a man who is jealous of the attention his wife pays to her horses. Londonist is sure that Ann’s extensive experience of Parliamentary sub-committees will come in handy here.

In an, ahem, unusual piece of scheduling, the Beeb have decided to put a programme about the aftermath of the Boscastle flood (A Seaside Parish, Thur 7.30pm BBCTwo) immediately after a programme about the aftereffects of the Boxing Day tsunami (Tsunami Prayers, Thur 7pm BBCTwo). Now, not to belittle the suffering of the residents of Boscastle – losing your home and possessions is no small thing – the juxtaposition still raises hackles. Watch both and make up your own minds.

In fact, we seem to be stuck with resolutely un-cheerful programming this week. Two more documentaries of note - Hitler’s Children (Sat 10pm C4) and Hiroshima (Sun 9pm BBCOne) – both focus our minds once more on World War Two, as if the History Channel’s non-stop showing of programmes called things like Hitler: An All-Around Bad Sort, Hitler: How We Whupped His Ass, and Hitler: What A Gimp were not enough. We all ought to watch Hiroshima to be reminded of what was done in our name, and why; we all will watch Hitler’s Children because his attempts to indoctrinate an entire generation are utterly fascinating and utterly repulsive at the same time.

Londonist has some very clear ideas on how the country ought to be run, mostly involving the removal of all tourists from the Tube between the hours of 8am and 8pm, the need to rectify the shocking lack of chocolate fountains in our streets, and the first-up-against-the-walling of whoever approved those new Esure adverts. Well, in its new series How To Start Your Own Country, a bloke called Danny Wallace sets about finding out exactly what would be involved in, er, starting your own country – this first episode deals with locating a bit of rock that no-one else has laid claim to. Easier said than done, although bits of Siberia might be a good bet, we’re told. Brrrrrrr. Maybe the UK as it is isn’t so bad, after all.

Last Updated 02 August 2005