Children Are Stupid

By sizemore Last edited 165 months ago
Children Are Stupid

What can we say about Croydon that hasn't been said a million times before?

How about describing it as the Capital's centre of integrity and good taste? No we're not buying it either. But we would like to buy some nifty Playboy gear. That's another reason not to go to Croydon then. When buying a pencil eraser with your favourite bunny logo on the last thing you want is some spotty school kid thrusting a McDonald's stained petition under your nose.

It seems that the selling of pornographic stationary by WH Smith is just a step too far for the clean living youth of sarf west London. They want it banned. The irony here is that the teachers don't give a stuff and it's the kids who are getting all reactionary and jerking their scraped knees. Blue rinses will be the next teen fashion if someone doesn't nip this in the bud.

Trust our years of experience here children. Having to write an essay on last night's Eastenders with a Playboy bunny pen is not going to make you want to jump up on the desk and show your undercarriage to your media studies teacher.

What you want to be doing is jumping on eBay with your pocket money and buying as many old issues of the magazine as you can. There's nothing in there you haven't already drawn badly on the back of a jotter and if you're lucky you'll find writing from quality writers like JG Ballard and Hunter S Thompson - God rest his demented soul. Writing that may make you sit up and realise there's more to the world than a crappy shopping centre and that WH Smiths is not the devil incarnate.

Here endeth the lesson.

Last Updated 24 June 2005