Red Hawk Down

By sizemore Last edited 169 months ago
Red Hawk Down

Here at Londonist we've never considered driving a bus around London to be an easy job. Navigating the capital on four wheels is bad enough without having to steer a large red dinosaur down streets designed to hold plague carts. Then there are the passengers to deal with and to be frank, the prospect of having to drive a night bus reduces us to tears.

So we weren't too surprised to learn that Arotech, a company usually brought in to provide training technology for F-15s (all-weather, extremely manoeuvrable, tactical fighter planes designed to gain and maintain air superiority in aerial combat), are building "the UK’s first full-mission transit bus simulator".

We love the phrase "full mission". It stimulates the part of our mentality that forces us to buy Playstation games.

According to a press release on the Arotech website the new state of the art simulators will use:

"computer-generated imagery (CGI) to provide a panoramic seamless display, including the use of real mirrors to view displays positioned behind the bus operator. A realistic, right-hand drive, virtual driving world representative of roads in London is being developed based on troublesome intersections and areas identified by First and London Buses".

We hope the simulator will also incorporate the following features:

  • Having to explain to irate passengers why you can't take their money when the stupid new ticket machines are broken.
  • The empty beer bottle that rolls from one end of the bus to the other whenever you take a corner.
  • The one guy with the headphones that fill the bus with tinny drum n bass.
  • The repeated phrase "I'm on the bus" coupled with a variety of novelty mobile phone ring tones and the occasional screaming baby.
  • The good news is that we can expect the simulator to help reduce the number of bus related accidents, but the bad news is that Tom Clancy will probably release a spate of London bus based techno thrillers once he hears about it.

    Last Updated 01 February 2005