The big release this week is raging smug-fest Oceans Twelve, a sequel to the remake of Oceans Eleven, and it's not fairing well with the critics. Bradshaw in the Guardian maintains his always high standard of vitriol with probably the harshest line directed towards welsh pensioner-fancier Catherine Zeta-Jones, "her Welsh accent re-surfaces when she isn't acting very well: ie, 100% of the time." He also manages to throw in a reference to "Jumping the Shark" proving that he occasionally likes to slum it with TV folk.
James Christopher in The Times gives it 2 stars, and Anthony Quinn in the Independent assigns it a single star as well, and adds to the growing list of critics that find actors having too good a time insulting.
The only problem we had with the original was that it broke the standard heist film template of one small heist at the start that goes wrong and then a big heist later on. Even Hudson Hawk managed that.
Also P. Diddy is apparently planning to jump on the Heist film bandwagon with a Miami based “heist action-comedy” and as long as he's as good in that as he is in the Bad Boy for Life video then Londonist believes it can smell a hit.
Fairing better is La Niña Santa, with Bradshaw giving it 4 stars and writing a review that if you listen carefully while you read it you can actually hear him rubbing his thighs in male middle class enjoyment. Three stars in the Independent and 4 stars from the Times means that it's this weeks art-house must see.
Video games traditionally make poor poor films, but having Alex Garland attached as writer to the Halo adaption gives it some hope, which is more than can be said for the Doom film, and if any movie exec goes anywhere near Half-Life 2, Londonist will be packing it's Gravity Gun and on the first plane to LA.
The Superman film slowly gathers pace and a cast, with apparent conflict between Bryan Singer and FOX as he seems intent on leaving X-Men three with no principal actors and when Smallvilles Lex Luthor, Michael Rosenbaum bumped into Singers Lex Luthor, Kevin Spacey, the following exchange took place:
Spacey: "Well, if it isn't the former Lex Luthor."
Rosenbaum: "Yeah, I'm playing him before he's fat & ugly."
But this weeks best filmic bon mot comes courtesy of Chris Rock on the Aviator:
"It's a weird movie. It's well made, but a story about a rich guy who gets things done doesn't excite me. Oooh, he overcame obstacles, like how much money to spend. And he washed his hands a lot."
