Bloody Students

By london_euan Last edited 159 months ago
Bloody Students

truant.jpgThe latest government figures on truancy were released today and it was bad news for London as the capital had the highest rate in the country, although this is probably good news for any retailer with a lax policy on selling cigarettes to kids.

Given the appalling grammar and crimes against punctuation seen on many internet forums it should come as no surprise that the average student in some London boroughs misses 10 to 11 days of lessons a year.

Since Labour came to power the figures have gotten worse, with only their policy of Police sweeps of shopping malls making any impact and "On any given day, up to 15,000 of London's one million primary and secondary school pupils are missing from lessons."

The Conservatives believe this is down to the fact that kids are bored at school and until this root cause is tackled things won't improve, so we can expect a new Tory education policy based around celebrity gossip, and football, delivered by their official spokesperson, that creepy blue frog thing from the "ninnnng ninnng ninnng" ringtone advert.

Last Updated 04 February 2005


I was on a train to Egham last week and overheard some of the kids on their way to the 6th Form college there discussing their courses. One of them was talking about postponing his maths module until next year when another kid jumped in and said, "You can't do your intermediate maths until you've done your basic. I mean, you've got to learn your ABCs before you learn your XYZs".

Interesting metaphor, I thought (letters for numbers). Then he blew it ... "Or is it YXZ?"

He then recited the entire Sesame Street alphabet song to check.


Nick: Now that's frightening! Yet... strangely unsurprising...

All I know is I'm in no rush to have children. I'd get the urge to homeschool them to protect them from the rampant stupidity of the average child... But then they'd end up as naive and gullible as my sisters, which would in no way prepare them for the real world!

Ahh if my children ever miss school, it'll be because I'm taking them on a field day to the technology museum or something similar, just as my mother did for me. Those were the most educational and interesting days of my childhood!