The Queens Club Conspiracy

By london_euan Last edited 173 months ago
The Queens Club Conspiracy


London’s prestigious tennis establishment, the Queens Club, home of the Lawn Tennis Association, is apparently under threat.

'Under threat' always sounds so promising but it doesn’t look like the threat is either aliens, Godzilla or rapid climate change, but more financial, as a move to Roehampton means that the club may be sold off.

But this doesn't mean that the tenuous B-Movie aspects of this story dry up completely because there's a document, rolled up inside a statue of a falcon, that mysteriously vanished in the 50s (probably stolen by Nazi's masquerading as the Austrian Davis cup team) that could stop the sale of the club and give right of first refusal to the clubs members.

Ok, so large portions of that may be untrue, but there is a document, and it's in the archives of the club, and it could take the sale off the open market.

However according to a Nazi conspirator LTA spokesperson "Documents from the Fifties are irrelevant until we decide what to do with the club."

This is of course just a delaying tactic until they finish the tunnel to the secret chamber under the main court that will finally reveal the true identity of Jack the Ripper and open a portal to another dimension.

One where there's an English tennis player that actually wins things.

Last Updated 17 November 2004