This weekend column is brought to you by the founders of Niceties Tokens, Liz and Pete of Team Nice. 43. Tube guilt I often experience a huge amount of guilt when I am travelling on my way home from work and someone I know from the office is on the same tube carriage as me. If I know them well I force myself to make contact but if I don't know them that well,......

Between Morden and High Barnet travel the sexiest passengers on the network according to the results of Qype's Love on the Tube survey. About 300 people completed the cheeky survey and the prevailing wisdom is the Northern Line's where it's at for ‘spiky-haired indie kids’ and ‘hot City types’. Unsurprisingly, no mention of the swollen handed alcoholics or the billion tourists who get on between Waterloo and Leicester Square. Dowdiest is the Hammersmith and......

Tube scammer got £1m out of scam and is fined £11k. Go figure. Guide dogs not good at spotting 3ft deep sewage holes Royal gay sex blackmailers jailed On the edge of our bar stools for the election results... coming up around 20.30 Drive safely, and take umbrella and sunglasses, if you're daft enough to leave London this weekend Image courtesy of Bloo Phoenix via the Londonist flickr group.......

Tube drivers are irked by a new film that takes a light-hearted look at one of the more harrowing aspects of working for London Underground: the "person under a train", TfL-speak for a suicide. Members of the Aslef union plan to picket the premier and hand out fliers expressing their displeasure. Three And Out, released next Friday, tells the story of a Tube driver unfortunate enough to experience two "one-unders" in quick succession. Discovering......

We wouldn't normally advocate Facebook groups, but this is one you HAVE to sign up to. You just have to. How amazing would this be? So now Life in Cold Blood is over, and the great man has hung up his broadcasting boots for good, what better tribute than to replace the starchy, boring voice on the London Underground with the silky, enthusiastic utterances of Sir David Attenborough. We'd finally learn what lives beneath Warren......

Come now. Tell us. Have you ever been caught staring folornly at a stone cold fox across a crowded tube carriage? Have you ever acted on a subterranean erotic impulse? Are you and your lover in fact sitting there now, fondling each other and fondly remembering the time you bumped bits on the Jubilee Line, laughed shyly and struck up a saucy conversation? Qype wants to know, nosy blighters. So does Annie Mole (we......

As a parochial and unglamorous antidote to the Hollywood Oscars that took place last weekend, London Underground was crowned Public Transport Operator of the Year at what LUL are desperately trying to sex up as the "transport Oscars" but are actually more prosaically known as the London Transport Awards. The MD of LUL explained they had scooped the gong for: delivering a record volume of service, carrying more passengers than ever before, while at......

Where's your sense of humour, blokes? Can't a fat, hairy-chested guy fake being crucified while wearing pink boxers anymore? Well, he can't in the tube. London Underground censors just banned posters for Fat Christ, a play showing this week at Islington's King's Head Theatre. They fear the ads in Angel station, showing the mock crucifixion of the play's writer, Gavin Davis, are "likely to offend ethnic, religious or other major groups." The author, though, apologizes......

This is what we have learned this weekend whilst you’ve been indulging those spring-time DIY pangs: LU has become very censorious of late. What’s to offend about a photo of a fat, pink-boxer-shorted Christ on the cross? A couple of shoppers were so worried about being caught for card fraud that they ran out of a Bromley store leaving their baby behind. High jinx in High Wycombe. Actually a bit more serious than that......

London Underground have banned love from the tracks: pictures of a naked Venus have been deemed too offensive. Gah! Prudes and philistines all. Holy Cow! The Hindu community is less than impressed. Of course it is pure coincidence that London council tax rises are minimal in election year. Bow’s inflatable sculptor is up in the docks for manslaughter. Antlers and swords - you heard it here first. Londonist is just so avant garde. Eau......

A former magistrate with a personality disorder and apparently plenty of time on his hands, scammed the London Underground out of £5,000. Between 2003 and 2006, 33-year-old Terrance Jolley made over 2,000 claims for refunds by saying his trains had been delayed. Not happy about receiving his fraudulent checks in a timely fashion, though, the small-time thief complained to London Underground's managing director about the slow process, and was found out after LU looked......

After masquerading as functional, rational, squared-off and decidedly masculine entity for over a century, the London Underground has this week come out as a woman. A new, sweeping, curvaceous tube map has come to light: it rather resembles a multi-coloured Medusa, or perhaps a mad conductor…but be careful what you see in it as the creator, Max Roberts, is in fact a psychologist. The original map by Harry Beck is of course a work......

I have been interested in recent newspaper reports suggesting I had lost, or was about to lose, one leg, two legs, an arm, a head - some people suggesting this went some time ago! - or even a fingernail. I am happy to tell you that, when I last looked, all of these items appeared solidly where they have been for many years. Michael Winner on rumours that he’d had a limb amputated. January 19......

Most travellers ever on London Underground, 7 December Yesterday was shopping madness Heathrow strike talks have started Olympic strike talk also begins... Catch any Bond this Christmas? Then "For Your Eyes Only" the Imperial War Museum's forthcoming exhibition on the life and work of Ian Fleming and 007 and how any of it was vaguely related to real life war type things is something you may wish to look forward to Image courtesy of......

We're still wondering whether civil servant, Trushar Patel, is either a clever sod, just another thieving crook, or a bit of both. Either way he's spending the next 18 months on the tax payers board and lodging for: conspiring to procure the execution of a valuable security. Or, in the long-lasting Queen's English, he swindled London Underground out of twenty two grand by getting his family to fill in bogus fare refund forms. Now......

Every day this month the Londonist team will be pointing you in the direction of a Christmas present that (with a bit of luck) you won't already have on your list. Climb up onto our collective lap and we'll see what we can move from our sack to your stockings... If you collected the specially commissioned posters from TfL then it's likely you'll fancy this book. Platform for Art: Art on the Underground cunningly......

Dusting off the snow from last year, every day this month the Londonist team will be pointing you in the direction of a Christmas present that (with a bit of luck) you won't already have on your list. Climb up onto our collective lap and we'll see what we can move from our sack to your stockings.. There's an big market for anything involving the London Underground system when it comes to buying gifts,......

Londonist imagines that saying "mind the gap, "stand clear of the closing doors" and endless variations on "The next station is...." for a living can get a little wearisome. Professional voice-over artist Emma Clarke does just that. Hence, she decided to spice up her days by making a few spoof announcements and posting them onto her website, including one that went: "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost......

28. Urban Legends Of The Underbelly! Urban legends are often vague, friend-of-a-friend tales (FOAFtales) similar to ‘Chinese whispers’, in that they are distorted, exaggerated and through generations of storytelling, they become myth, embedded in our society. For the last fifty or more years there has been a sinister legend pertaining to the London Underground that a mysterious, possibly caped figure, lurks in the cold tunnels, and is known for the ghastly act of pushing......

To celebrate the rebranding of the Platform for Art initiative as Art on the Underground, TfL are giving away specially commissioned posters at 5 Zone 1 tube stations all next week (bound to be a bunfight on Monday though, be prepared). Among the artists is Turner Prize nominated Mark Titchner and poster designs include a fictitious A-Z map and some snow capped mountains. 25,000 of each design have been produced and will be stacked......

27. More Terrors Of The Tube! To continue from our last stop of ghosts pertaining to the London Underground, the spectral girl of Elephant & Castle appears to be a rail relation to the phantom hitchhiker legend, in that several witnesses have described, often whilst sitting in an empty carriage, encountering a young woman who takes a seat but often vanishes between stops. Just like many phantom hitchhiker myths, this particular spook story is......

26. Going Underground Urban legends of the more sinister variety have always intrigued me, so continuous whispers and friend-of-a-friend tales concerning a mutant race of beings inhabiting the dark tunnel systems, sewers and subterranean passages beneath the capital are always welcome, even if unfounded (despite rumours circulating as far back as the nineteenth century). However, one thing us folklorists do know is that the underbelly of the city is teeming with all manner of......

25. More Road-Related Horror! Lord John Angerstein’s coach has been sighted pulled by four headless horses, in the vicinity of Trafalgar Road, travelling onwards to Vanbrugh Hill in southeast London. Why the horses appear headless no one knows. On the Bayswater Road near Hyde Park, another phantom coach and horses is said to travel, without sound. But the most astonishing vehicle to haunt Greater London has to be that of a spectral bus, sighted......

It's possible that some of you, dear readers, may occasionally travel upon our world famous London Underground. And possible that you may have experienced some discomfort while doing so, maybe a little over-crowding, maybe a little lateness, perhaps even the odd denial of service. Some might argue that these occasional 'blips' in your commute might have arisen through the failings of the tube maintenance firm, Metronet (now in administration after a predicted £2bn overspend).......

Londonist is slightly 'emotional' after attempting to obtain a refund or ticket extension for the period of Bob Crow’s September ego-led strike action. London Underground are not paying out refunds for the September strike period even though they have happily taken scads of cash on prepaid travel (weekly/monthly/yearly etc) cards. They usually offer a 'good will gesture' refund during strike action because it is London Underground themselves who go out on strike. In this......

In the early hours of this morning a burst water main on Maida Vale caused chaos as roads, homes and businesses were flooded with rushing brown floods. 40 firefighters were called to the scene to evacuate people, divert and pump out the water. Evacuees were taken to the safety of a local pub. Whether the landlord flouted licensing laws to warm everyone up with a snifter has not been reported. Thames Water engineers stopped......

This Week In London’s History Monday – 1st October 1868: St. Pancras Station is officially opened as the London terminus for the Midland Railway, despite its construction being incomplete. Part of the buildings would form the iconic gothic St. Pancras Chambers, which housed the Midland Grand Hotel. Tuesday – 2nd October 1909: Twickenham Stadium hosts its first ever rugby match, with Harlequins beating Richmond 14-10. Wednesday – 3rd October 1975: After three days of......

Members of three transport unions are downing tools in September. And it's a packed diary of inaction. September 3: a 72-hour RMT/Unite strike begins at 6pm. September 4: a 48-hour TSSA strike begins (time not disclosed). September 5: TSSA strike concludes. September 6: RMT strike concludes at 6pm. September 10: a second RMT/Unite strike begins at 6pm. September 13: RMT/Unite strike concludes. The strikes are the latest fallout from the collapse of Metronet - the......

Due to the crazy rain today, there have been mass closures around throughout London Underground. As of 14:15, the following stations have been closed due to flooding: Shepherd's Bush (Central Line) Turnpike Lane Victoria (Circle & District Lines only) Paddington (Circle Line only) Gants Hill South Kensington Kilburn Tooting Broadway Vauxhall Turnham Green Tooting Bec Clapham Common Colliers Wood North Ealing (Westbound services only) Hammersmith - Dist & Pic lines (Eastbound services only) The following......

If you travel in East London, this is a view you've probably seen a thousand times. But, unless you work for London Underground, you probably haven't seen it from quite that angle. It's is a tube driver's view from Aldgate East to Barking, and London Underground has just found out that drivers have been filming these videos and posting them to YouTube. Understandably, they're a bit worried. Our search on YouTube for "london underground......