Is there anything more annoying than being distracted by a flashing screen or a buzzing mobile phone when you’re snuggled in a cinema, watching an otherwise engrossing film?
The Prince Charles in Leicester Square has come up with a solution: ninjas. Voluntary mentors dressed in black all-in-one spandex Morphsuits who will emerge from the darkness when cinema etiquette has been broken and give the miscreant a
heart attack stern talking to. The ninjas get to watch the film for free (in, admittedly, pretty uncomfortable-sounding clothing), and the much-touted Wittertainment Code of Conduct is maintained (see below).
As Londonistas spend an inordinate amount of time in darkened auditoria, we’re pretty excited about this news. And why not extend the scheme beyond stopping cinema-going yoofs throwing popcorn and checking football scores on their smartphones? This ninja taskforce could offer tissues to silence those wet-nosed sniffers in theatre stalls. Or stop those exuberant toe-tappers that jog your seat at classical concerts. Or hand out soothing sweets to the guy at the back who coughed loudly *all the way through* Geronimo Rauch’s otherwise beautiful rendition of Bring Him Home at Les Mis last night. Just an idea.